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| Blogs > keithcancook > The Venting Blog |
A BlogLand Christmas Carol
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A BlogLand Christmas Carol BLOGLAND PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS: A BlogLand Christmas Carol A BLOGWAY MORALITY PLAY Enter and Enjoy BlogLand Productions' roster of BALONEY AWARD winning morality plays is the finest in the theatre-blog industry. They include Conversations From BlogLand High , The Wizard of Blogz , BLOG WARS , and It's a Wonderful Blog .  |
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SCENE I Scrooge and Cratchit sit in the main programming room on Christmas Eve.  saintlianna But sir, the bloggers are crying out for fixes. We must listen to their pleas. Please, you must spare me some resources to assist them before they all rebel. saintlianna Sir, the blogs have been shown to cause members to renew their premium memberships. They have become quite popular and seem to have an addictive quality to them. Many of our members are really attached to them. saintlianna But we are getting a great deal of exposure by giving standard members a reason to stay longer, Mr. Scrooge. We lose so many of them. Yet when they begin to blog they get hooked. Eventually a good percentage will upgrade so they can e-mail with their blogging buddies. Please sir, all I need is a little more time. And a wee bit more bandwidth. Also, our servers need to speak the same language for crying out loud! BlogLand is full of bugs. I need more people to strengthen the code. We cannot leave our bloggers out shivering in the cold. You were a blogger once, were you not? Now get back to work. And leave those blogs alone. They can take it or leave it. TTigerAtty Hello Uncle! Merry Christmas! I have come to try and persuade you to visit us tonight. It’s Christmas Eve! It will be a fine night. Many friends will be there. We may even play some blogging games! SCENE II luke69iner Excuse me kind sir. Do you have a moment to spare for a downtrodden blogger?  As for Christmas, BAH! Another waste of time. luke69iner Nay, we should not be miserly with our words. They should flow freely, and in abundant supply. luke69iner They should be allowed to use words at their whim. No matter how long winded some may seem.
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travelingintexas Aye, and blogging is also good for society at large. It promotes the flow of information, disseminating many viewpoints on a variety of topics. bardicman Indeed. Blogging increases literacy, and fosters a more educated and pro-active citizenry. Socially, they are at the forefront of attacking society’s ills, struggling to bring the world together. Blogs are a boon to us. SCENE III SETTING: Scrooge’s Paolo Alto Mansion. In his bedroom, by the fire. expatbrit49 Ebenezer Scrooge, heed me. I have come to offer you a chance to redeem yourself. expatbrit49 Yes, my blog is dead. Slain by your ban. And since that time I have languished in the shadowy realm of Blog-a-tory, where bloggers whose blogs were ripped away spend their days. There we drift aimlessly, burdened by the chains of posts unwritten. Longing to add our voices once again to the forums of BlogLand. expatbrit49 It is not just the bloggers who languish there, Mr. Scrooge. There is a special place in hell for those who run blog sites but fail to maintain them. It is there where you will soon sit, my ol pal. Unless you change your blogless ways. Repent while there is still time! expatbrit49 (roaring and shaking his chains menacingly) EBENEZER SCROOGE! You are not delusional from reading woefully bad blogs. I am here. If you fail to heed me, pulling the chains of pitiful posts will indeed be your fate. And the chains that wait for you are heavy and thick. SUDDENLY, SCROOGE SENSES THAT HE IS NOT ALONE... SCENE IV  tillerbabe SCROOGE AND THE SPIRIT ARE TRANSPORTED TO A SMALL CLASSROOM IN THE LOCAL SCHOOL. THERE, WRITING CLASS IS IN SESSION.
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tillerbabe AS VERY YOUNG SCROOGE RECIEVES HIS PAPER, HIS FACE EXPRESSING A CONFIDENT SATISFACTION, HIS FRIEND STOPS AT THE DESK TO GIVE HIM A KISS...  tillerbabe THE SCENE FADES.WE NOW SEE YOUNG SCROOGE MANY YEARS LATER AS A HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR. HIS FOUR BEST FRIENDS ARE WITH HIM... SCENE V candy69sosweet Blogging is the way of the future my friends. It is on the cutting edge of a communications revolution.  digdug41 And it’s not just that, John. Don’t forget the bonds that are forged between bloggers whose physical locations are far apart, but whose spiritual connections are tightly bound. The bloggers all Come Together. Isn’t that so, Paul? dz2502 Agreed. Members of a blogging community support each other and assist those in need. I have read blogs written by the down at heart. Immediately the other bloggers flock to the afflicted ones blog with messages of hope and communal support. The bloggers say, "All You Need Is Love." postingnick Yeah, so what if they are obvious pleas for attention. It is what they need and the bloggers understand. Do You Want To Know A Secret? They are human, after all. candy69sosweet (laughing) Yes, Ringo. That they are. Silly fallible humans. Yet there is one thing y’all have not noted. Blogs are also going to become a political force. Already the pundits have begun referring to blogs as sources for their arguments. dz2502 Aye, they were useful in promoting the campaign for that Dean dude in the last American election. They raised a boatload of cash for his election fund. That is an important shift in power. The blogs will no longer be ignored. When I’m Sixty-Four, I will still be blogging Across The Universe. digdug41 Bloggers have also received sharp attention from the highest levels of the Pentagon. The Soldier Bloggers have caused the American Defense Department much consternation with their postings from various theatres around the world. I’ve Got A Feeling that things will be Getting Better over there the sooner our soldiers Get Back over here. postingnick I have seen entire blogs disappear, some of them to return after a time, others to be never seen again. It’s like "Hello, Goodbye. See ya later Honey Pie." candy69sosweet I am going to create a website that will be devoted to blogs. It will be supplied with all the resources necessary to provide a smooth platform for blogging. I shall create the best blogging service ever provided on the net. The bloggers will flock to my call, and we will all be rich.
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digdug41 Influence will be bought and sold, and This Boy will not be a part of that. dz2502 Lies and deception will follow. I’m So Tired of falsehood and conflict. We Can Work It Out. Can’t we? postingnick The blogs will lose their innocence. Do you want to Carry That Weight around with you? That you corrupted BlogLand with money? Look what has happened Back In The USSR now that money has flooded the place. candy69sosweet (laughing) Okay, okay. I will fund the blogs by another means. Hmmm, I wonder if I could use an adult dating site as a platform for blogging? The sexual urge is strong in humans. While they are all spending their cash viewing profiles and trying to meet, I can open a blog area free of charge. Hmmm, I wonder... tillerbabe THE SCENE FADES. SCROOGE AND THE SPIRIT FIND THEMSELVES AT THE HEADQUARTERS OF YOUNG SCROOGE’S FLEDGELING BLOGGING SITE. IT IS SUPPORTED BY A DATING SERVICE, AND YOUNG SCROOGE HAS IT ALL. ACCESS TO THE HOTTEST PROFILES ON THE PLANET AND A BLOG PLATFORM THAT IS TAKING OFF IN POPULARITY. SCENE VI candy69sosweet Hey guys! Listen up! I have finally found the woman of my dreams. She calls herself Polythene Pam. candy69sosweet Does she write? Does she ever. Eight Days A Week. She has a profile on our site. I have been corresponding with her through e-mail and instant messaging. dz2502 Are you sure she’s legit? There have been more and more "professionals" showing up in our rosters. You had better Run For Your Life, if she asks for "favors". digdug41 Don’t you worry about those professionals. I am keeping a good eye out for them. There are gaps in our software that allow them to get in. I’m Fixing A Hole right now that should Help! If you spare me another staff assistant, I should have the entire site cleaned up within a week. candy69sosweet Oh! You guys! Stop worrying. She is legit. I am sure of it. She has even been reading my blog. Why, she even contacted me first! That is not the norm around here. You shall have your assistant George! And anything else you need to keep this place clean. I am in a wonderful mood today! postingnick You be careful, Ebenezer. Some of these females are devious players. Preying upon young meat like us, they cruise the profiles looking for an easy fruit to pluck from the tree. They say "Oh, Darling, I’ve Got To Get You Into My Life. Come And Get It." And a horny bastard like you will be sucked right into her web of lies. Tell Me Why you want this. I can see you standing there like The Fool On The Hill, moaning "I’m Down." And crying out "I’m A Loser", to any who will listen. candy69sosweet Do not fear Ringo, my friend. I have been talking to her for weeks now. We are soul mates. She would never hurt me. dz2502 Aye, online females can disappear into the mist right when you need them the most. It happened to me. I gave her All My Loving, but she left me for Mean Mr. Mustard without so much as a "You Won’t See Me" again. Have you not read pigcancook’s latest work? He is not fooled by feminine wiles. digdug41 Is that the one where he wrote all those wise little sayings? I think I saw that Yesterday. postingnick Yes, that is it. Great Quotes From a Chauvinist Male. It is a true masterpiece, and it will be a Long, Long, Long time before we again see his like in BlogLand. candy69sosweet (laughing) My friends, your concern for me is misplaced. She is going to change my life forever I tell you... Still, you guys are great. I could never go wrong with such fabulous friends as you. Hmm, that has a certain ring to it. I’m gonna start calling y’all the "Fab Four" from now on! 
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dz2502 Yeah dude. You’ve been cooped up in this office for days now. It’s over. Face it, and move on. You never listen. I tried to tell you that You’re Going To Lose That Girl. digdug41 Why don’t you pick yourself up and write in your blog again. It used to inspire you so. I’ve never seen a collapse like this In My Life. postingnick Forget her, Ebenezer. She is not worth all this suffering you are subjecting yourself to. She’s So Heavy anyway. candy69sosweet Oh woe is me. Woe is me. digdug41 (grinning) Are you sure that he can be called a "she", John? postingnick It’s not your fault Ebenezer. You couldn’t have known. Although I would think that when you heard "her" deep basso voice on the phone you might have gotten a clue. dz2502 I would have figured it out when "she" got off during cyber sex and promptly rolled over and went to sleep without finishing you off. candy69sosweet I’m through with blogging. I am going to remove the blog feature from our website and concentrate on parting our members from their cash by manipulating their carnal lusts.
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candy69sosweet If that is the case then we will keep the blogs, but we will not expand or improve the service. We will put our resources into chat features and web camming. Anything but blogging. I want them all to suffer. It’s all about hooking up now. I want video introductions featuring the sexiest profiles. When someone logs onto our site I want naked bodies blasting them from all angles. Blogs? Humbug! The blogs can go to hell. candy69sosweet You can’t quit. You’re FIRED! Now get the hell outta here and trouble my ears no more! postingnick What about our pay? You owe us. candy69sosweet Here, take these. candy69sosweet I don’t give a rip what you do with them. Hock them for all I care. I have some old musical instruments down in the basement. Take those with you and we’ll call it even. womenlooking4fun I am the Ghost of Blogging Present. Come with me and you will see what occurs in BlogLand presently... SCENE VII Why look! They are playing a silly blogging game. Telling 50 things about themselves or some moronic variation thereof. Ugh! As if anyone really cares about their silly idiosyncrasies. womenlooking4fun Yes, do look. Look at their faces Scrooge. Do you see their smiles? Do you hear their laughter? Are their eyes not shining? There is joy in their fellowship. They revel in each other, bound together through their love of blog writing. Let us leave them to their silly party, Spirit! There is nothing for me here. womenlooking4fun Ahh, but there is. You have witnessed some of the powerful bonds that form between bloggers. Take note! That power cannot be denied. Even by you! Hush now and observe... sunrisegirl1983 SCROOGE AND THE SPIRIT HOVER IN THE ROOM, WATCHING THE ACTION.
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1SweetBitch Dagnabbit! I cannot log onto my blog site. Am I the only one experiencing this? Dang it! I can never figure out if it’s just me or if the whole damn place has gone batty. 1hotwahine Oh pooh! My comment didn’t stick again. And the one I posted yesterday has duplicated itself. Dang that old miserly Scrooge! Why won’t he help us by improving the blogs? TTigerAtty Now, let’s show a little patience Alice. I’m sure Uncle Scrooge means well. He is under a lot of stress trying to oversee the entire website. Sweetest_Sin_Jes That is no excuse. Your uncle is a mean, miserly man. I think he enjoys seeing us suffer through these atrocious glitches. MaggiesWishes He will banish your blog for the slightest of infractions. I feel like I have to walk around on egg shells when I am trying to post. I think we should all post more complaints in our blogs. 1hotwahine As if that will do any good. Sweetest_Sin_Jes Ha! Those posts may "mysteriously" disappear. He must have agents snooping everywhere. No blog is safe. TTigerAtty He really has goodness in him. My mother knew him well, and always said that he was a great writer with a big heart. Let us spare our criticism tonight my friends. It’s Christmas Eve, shall we be negative and gloomy? 1hotwahine No, of course not. You are quite right. How about a round of "ask me any three questions, and I promise to answer truthfully"? MaggiesWishes Oh, I did that last month. 1SweetBitch Me too. Sweetest_Sin_Jes So did I. TTigerAtty Ditto. sunrisegirl1983 THE PARTY SCENE FADES AWAY AND SCROOGE AND THE SPIRIT FIND THEMSELVES AT THE CRATCHIT HOUSE, WHERE THEY ARE PREPARING THEIR CHRISTMAS BLOGS BEFORE THE CHRISTMAS FEAST. SCENE VIII saintlianna Come children, let us finish our Christmas posts before dinner. Does everyone have a topic chosen? Tala4u2 I am trying to log on, but the site won’t let me in, father. Oh! I must get in. I have all the arrangements made with the Make A Wish Blogging Foundation to send a young blogger with a terminal illness to England. It is her final wish to visit the grave of Shakespeare with her family. There is little time to spare. lioness860 Little enough to spare for the both of you, Tiny Tim. You seem even more frail than yesterday. Oh, father! What shall we do? Tiny Tim’s condition is worsening. saintlianna Alas, it is the latest bug in his blog that is causing this! They seem to afflict his blog in an insidious way. More so than any other blog in BlogLand. He has so many bugs already, and every month a new one appears. I’m afraid that his blog is failing steadily and soon will be gone completely. silkysmoothlegs3 But father, if that happens then Tiny Tim will pass into Blog-a-tory. We will lose him forever.
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 mzhunyhole The only way to avoid Blog-a-tory is to keep the blog alive. SensuallyKatey And the only way to keep Tiny Tim’s blog alive is to remove the bugs that are afflicting it. waggypolly But that means tinkering with the code. Only Mr. Scrooge can approve that, and he hates bloggers. hinkawaza He not only hates us, he enjoys seeing us suffer. I heard that he keeps a master logbook, and if your name goes into it then your blog will be banished. And you know what that means. starlight_runner(shuddering) Blog-a-tory... saintlianna Shhh, hush little Laura! Not so loudly. Do not let Tiny Tim hear you talk so. The poor child is so weak. AmberSolaire He can’t hear you Laura. Do not fear. He is in his corner still trying to log on, the poor little blighter. lioness860 Thanks for keeping an eye on him Phil. He is so dedicated. He spends nearly all his strength solving the problems of others, yet he does not slow down or lose his focus. mzhunyhole That’s right Lorianne. Twenty-one lives saved from Blog-a-tory. We cannot lose such a great heart as his. BlogLand will be so dreary without him. silkysmoothlegs3 I’ll never forget the time when I was blogging with my friend in Palestine, and she was so sad because of all the troubles there. And Tiny Tim said to me, "Luisa, why are you down." When I told him of my friends sadness, he told me not to worry, he would do something. Do you remember that Johnna? waggypolly Do I ever. He started blogging with Israeli’s and Palestinians and founded a forum that led to the peace movement in both those countries. The violence has finally ended there now, and our Tiny Tim was behind it. starlight_runner Yes, once again Christians can celebrate Christmas in the Holy Land without fear. The Moslems and the Jews are respectful of each other and it was all accomplished through blogging. SensuallyKatey Tiny Tim told me last week that he has begun blogging with some folks in Pakistan and India. He said that it won’t be long before he has them talking with each other. hinkawaza Once he has them blogging together, the process will accelerate. When educated folk get to debating, solutions to problems are born. AmberSolaire That’s right, Geoff. That’s how movements are founded. Blogging will foster their growth, and eventually the politicians will have to take heed. wetpantyslut2 Oh come all ye Cratchits! Our Christmas Eve feast is prepared. saintlianna Boys, will you please carry Tiny Tim to the table? He is too weak to make it himself.
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AmberSolaire hinkawaza Yes, father. He is light as a feather. He’s halfway to Blog-a-tory since this latest bug has hit him. wetpantyslut2 (sobbing) Oh my poor boy! My poor, sweet, little Tiny Tim! Tala4u2Do not weep mother. I am just a bit tired today, that’s all. I stayed up late writing a post about how wonderful you are. I titled it The Greatest Woman Walking, but I cannot get it to post. I will try again after supper. wetpantyslut2 (smiling through her tears) I am only weeping because I am overcome with the joy of my beautiful baby boy! sunrisegirl1983 AFTER THE CRATCHITS HAVE GIVEN THANKS FOR THEIR BLESSINGS, BOB PROPOSES A TOAST TO MR. SCROOGE. saintlianna And now for a toast to my employer, Mr. Scrooge. He has made this all possible. wetpantyslut2 I’ll not raise my glass to the likes of him! Why, it is he who has caused my Tiny Tim to suffer so. I say curse him, not bless him. SensuallyKatey Nor shall I. Besides all of his other evils, he fired John, Paul, George, and Ringo. hinkawaza Actually, that was Lady Fortune smiling on all of us, Gillian. If he hadn’t fired them then they never would have been released to the world. waggypolly I heard that they quit. AmberSolaire Of course they quit! Nobody but dear old dad can stand working for Mr. Scrooge. lioness860 There is a rumor that he once was a blogger. silkysmoothlegs3 It’s true. He had the potential to be one of the greatest bloggers ever it is said. mzhunyhole What turned him away from blogging? starlight_runner It was a woman, I’m told. waggypolly No, it was a man. I have it on good authority. hinkawaza Actually you are closest, Lorianne. It was a woman pretending to be a man, pretending to be a woman.
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SensuallyKatey No! That’s not it! You are confused with an old movie, Geoff. It was merely a man pretending to be a woman. A common enough occurrence on the internet. AmberSolaire Oh yeah, I remember now. He supposedly fell in love with the guy thinking he was a she, and then, when they actually met, Mr. Scrooge was so shocked that he gave up writing blogs completely. silkysmoothlegs3 And now the old codger has a vendetta against bloggers. As if our pens have all been dipped in the same inkwell. saintlianna Let us discuss this no more. It is Christmas Eve. This family will extend its blessings to all creatures, both high and low. Even such a one as our Mr. Scrooge. How could we do otherwise and not be hypocrites? wetpantyslut2 I’ll not toast that man! Not with the way he is hurting my poor, sweet Tiny Tim! Tala4u2 Oh mother, you must not harbor ill will in your heart. It will eat away at you from the inside. And if I do fade into Blog-a-tory, I will be there for a reason. Perhaps that reason is Mr. Scrooge? For surely he is headed there. And to that "special place" reserved for the likes of him. I will be there to help him. To ease his suffering. sunrisegirl1983 SUDDENLY THE FLOOR IS SWIMMING WITH GREENISH GOO, SWIRLING FROM ALL DIRECTIONS! lioness860 silkysmoothlegs3 (retching and wiping their mouths on their sleeves) Sorry we threw up Tiny Tim, but sometimes you are just too much.
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womenlooking4fun Without a fix, his blog will surely die. womenlooking4fun Those unwritten posts should be stuffed down your throat and your mouth sewn up tight. greeneyesAtl05 BUT SCROOGE IS ALONE. THE SPIRIT HAS RETURNED FROM WHENCE SHE CAME. THE BELLS TOLL. THE HOUR IS PAST. SCENE IX What’s this? Here is another spirit. Has she come to allow me an opportunity to make amends? Oh oh, I have a feeling that this is not going to be pleasant. PrincessKarma I am the Spirit of Blogging Future. I’ve been looking over your file here, and it’s not pretty. There is little chance for you to escape your fate. PrincessKarma Ha! You sound like one of your dating site clients after being caught by his spouse! greeneyesAtl05 THE SPIRIT OF BLOGGING FUTURE TAKES SCROOGE TO THE ASH HEAP, A BURIAL PLACE FOR BLOGS THAT HAVE BEEN BANNED, BUGGED, OR BLED BY BLOGACIDE. A FUNERAL IS IN PROGRESS... MissLilKink It’s such a pity that a blog should die so young.  AmishAmy I’ll say. I don’t think it is entirely their fault though. Old Scrooge launched a new program before the end. Now when a new member creates a profile, a blog is created right along with it.  AmishAmy When a new member creates a profile he is usually quite horny, and eager to mate, er, meet with a female. He sees the blog thingie in his profile and not knowing any better he uses it to further advance his mating, um, I mean meeting, opportunities. MissLilKink Oh, I get it. That explains why all these fellows seem the same. They just have different dix, er, ah pix.
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greeneyesAtl05 THE SPIRIT MERELY LIFTS HIS ARM AND SILENTLY POINTS TO ANOTHER AREA OF THE ASH HEAP, WHERE SEVERAL MOURNERS HAVE GATHERED. FreeLove999 I have never seen Bob so upset. He really loved his blogchild.  your_fave_MRE I heard that he was about to blog a breakthrough in the Pakistani-Indian crisis. And this right on the heels of his success in the Holy Land. He was a wonder for sure! FreeLove999 He was so pure and good that even Mother Theresa threw up after delivering a speech about him. your_fave_MRE Oh no! Didja have to say that so loudly? Shhhh. your_fave_MRE FreeLove999 Too late! greeneyesAtl05 SUDDENLY THE FUNERAL AREA IS FLOODED WITH A GREENISH GOO AS ALL THE MOURNERS RETCH TOGETHER. greeneyesAtl05 THE SCENE FADES AWAY. SCROOGE AND THE SPIRIT OF BLOGGING PRESENT NOW APPEAR ON A LONELY STREET IN A CRAPPY PART OF TOWN. HERE THEY FIND THEMSELVES WITNESS TO A CONVERSATION... SCENE X redlipsprincess I cannot give you much for these items. This gold pen seems the best of the lot. He was a writer, was he? goddessofbitches So it is rumored. A good one too, I have heard. What about these little vials here? redlipsprincess The blog poison? There are only a few drops left in each of them. He seems to have been spreading these poisons liberally through his blog site. goddessofbitches He certainly knew his blog poisons. Here’s one that prevents a blog from being listed as a watched blog. That must be frustrating to both bloggers and fans alike. I like this one too. It causes a comment to be visible only to the commenter. No one else can see it, and the commenter is never the wiser. Rich! redlipsprincess (laughing) Check this out. This one causes posts to be rejected over and over again. And here’s one that brings every deleted comment back again. It must be a derivative of the one that multiplies a post. You know, you publish a post and then you are shocked to discover that the dang thing has posted in triplicate!
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goddessofbitches This one’s empty. It must have been his favorite. It’s labeled POSTING MOLASSAS. redlipsprincess Ah, yes! It prevents new posts from publishing right away. Depending on the dosage, this poison will delay a post for up to 24 hours. goddessofbitches I wonder what he does with this case of aerosol cans? The label merely says BAD AIR. Hmmm, the ingredients are listed as: ENVY, PRIDE, MISCOMMUNICATION, BIAS, and AGRESSION. redlipsprincess It is said that occasionally he would cover BlogLand with a mist of this stuff. Soon after, the bloggers would begin sniping and harping at each other. Old Scrooge would just sit back and laugh with evil glee as the bonds that the bloggers share are twisted and torn apart. All I wish to do is BLOG! PrincessKarma BLOGS! "Humbug! Hot air, inflating nothing! That is what blogging is!" PrincessKarma Save that for another morality play, Mr. Scrooge. If you are around to write it that is. Behold! SCENE XI kats60 SCROOGE AND THE SPIRIT SUDDENLY STAND IN A CREEPY CEMETARY, BEFORE A FRESHLY DUG GRAVE... Okay, I’ll play along. Let’s see, I can barely make it out in this creepy lighting scheme were using for this set. Hmm, it says Here lies keithcancook. Who da heck is keithcancook? PrincessKarma He was a blogger. As a matter of fact, he blogged in your website. PrincessKarma He was a standard member. PrincessKarma Um, why don’t you finish reading the headstone? Jeesh! Here lies keithcancook A blogging man was he. Until he met Al Maya Sertz, And turned into a she. Burn in hell Al Maya Sertz. For pulling such a scam. Wearing all those sexy skirts, And calling yourself "Polythene Pam" Polythene Pam! I remember that name. She’s so good looking that she looks like a man! Al Maya Sertz! So that was his real name eh? Grrr. He was the one who turned me away from blogging in the first place. I’m gonna hunt that sucker down, like I should have done long ago. I’m gonna give ol Al a whole new meaning to his name. But first I am going to repair the blogs. Plus, I intend to begin posting a blog of my own. PrincessKarma Al Maya Sertz is not the only player on the net, although perhaps he is the most notorious online female impersonator of them all. You are not the first male to be smitten by him. Many men have fallen for his con. They are all Sissy Marys now. Neither man nor woman, they have no gender. PrincessKarma Oh yes, a very dedicated one. In fact, he only used your site for blogging. He gave up searching profiles inside of a month. You once rewarded him with a three month gold ball for being such a fine blogger.
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kats60 AT THIS MOMENT THE HOUR STRIKES ONCE AGAIN. SCROOGE FINDS HIMSELF BACK IN HIS ROOM AT THE RISING OF THE SUN. SCENE XII CHRISTMAS! Oh no! Have I missed it? kats60 AWAY TO HIS WINDOW, SCROOGE FLEW LIKE A FLASH. TORE OPEN THE SHUTTER, AND THREW UP THE SASH. WHEN WHAT TO HIS WONDERING EYES DID APPEAR, BUT A GEEK IN THE STREET, A COMPUTER ENGINEER... No, no! Up here. I’m up here. raptor880 Oh, hello there Mr. Scrooge! Good Morning! raptor880Why Mr. Scrooge, it’s Christmas morning! raptor880 It’s Christmas morning 2005, as sure as I am born! Are you okay sir? raptor880 Certainly I know it. What kind of geek do you take me for? raptor880 Do you mean the Blue Gene/L ? It’s there alright, but it’s bigger than your house. Chop! Chop! If you hurry I will let you use it on weekends. (muttering to himself) The bloggers are already used to slow weekends anyway. kats60 SALIVATING AT THE THOUGHT OF HAVING THE POWER OF 280.6 TFLOPS IN HIS HANDS, THE GEEK HURRIES OFF TO DO SCROOGE’S BIDDING. MEANWHILE, SCROOGE PAYS A VISIT TO THE CRATCHIT HOME... saintlianna Good morning, Mr. Scrooge. Merry Christmas! Please come in. saintlianna How may I be of service, sir?
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Use its power to heal the blogs. All of them. But begin with Tiny Tim. I have grown quite fond of him. kats60 STUNNED, BUT NOT WASTING A MOMENT, CRATCHIT REPAIRS THE BLOGS AND RESCUES TINY TIM. SCROOGE RETURNS TO WRITING BLOGS AND EVERYTHING IS HUNKY DORY IN BLOGLAND FOR CHRISTMAS. THE END EE407 Hey! What gives? I thought I was gonna get a part in this production. Jeeze, it’s bloated beyond anything seen in BlogLand before, but you couldn’t seem to find a part for your dear friend double E, could you? kats60 AFTER A LONG UNCOMFORTABLE PAUSE, KOOCNACHTIEK MAKES AN APPEARANCE...  EE407 Izzat so? Well you can just diddy bop back to wherever he has secreted himself and tell him to rewrite his stupid play featuring me as the star. Doesn’t he appreciate true talent? Whatsamatta with him anyway? Putting me on after the show is over like this is humiliating! DTduzDallas You think you’re humiliated, EE? That idiot completely forgot to write my part even though I visited his stupid audition post! Bring that dickless chickenshit out here on this stage! He’ll soon discover that Al Maya Sertz was a candyass pussywimp when compared with what I have in store for him! tillerbabe ANOTHER PAUSE ENSUES WHILE KOOCNACHTIEK WHISPERS WITH SOMEONE HIDDEN BEHIND THE CURTAINS... He also wants to wish everyone in BlogLand and Beyond, a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS! FINIS
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A BLOGLAND CHRISTMAS CAROL CURTAIN CALL saintlianna AS BOB CRATCHIT, expatbrit49 AS MARLEY, candy69sosweet AS YOUNG SCROOGE, digdug41 AS GEORGE, postingnick AS RINGO, luke69iner AS GENTLEMAN #1, travelingintexas AS GENTLEMAN #3, bardicman AS GENTLEMAN #4 1hotwahine AS ALICE, Sweetest_Sin_Jes AS MARYLIN, MaggiesWishes AS KATE, 1SweetBitch AS DEB, Tala4u2 AS TINY TIM, TTigerAtty AS SCROOGE'S NEPHEW,
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lioness860 AS MARTI CRATCHIT, silkysmoothlegs3 AS LUISA CRATCHIT, SensuallyKatey AS GILLIAN CRATCHIT, waggypolly AS JOHNNA CRATCHIT, starlight_runner AS LAURA CRATCHIT, AmberSolaire AS PHIL CRATCHIT, hinkawaza AS GEOFF CRATCHIT, wetpantyslut2 AS MRS. CRATCHIT, womenlooking4fun AS THE SPIRIT OF BLOGGING PRESENT, PrincessKarma AS THE SPIRIT OF BLOGGING FUTURE, goddessofbitches AS A CRONE, redlipsprincess AS A FLEA MARKET VENDOR,
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MissLilKink AS FUNERAL GUEST #1, AmishAmy AS FUNERAL GUEST #3, FreeLove999 AS FUNERAL GUEST #5, your_fave_MRE AS FUNERAL GUEST #7, tillerbabe AS NARRATOR #2, sunrisegirl1983 AS NARRATOR #4, greeneyesAtl05 AS NARRATOR #5, kats60 AS NARRATOR #6, raptor880 AS A GEEK With Ultraviolet_69 AS VERY YOUNG SCROOGE and spinmedown AS STAND-IN FOR VERY YOUNG SCROOGE. Special guest appearances by EE407 and DTduzDallas Producers note: A heartfelt thank you goes out to all the actors in this holiday morality play. Y’all were marvelous! With fifty-three actors and over three hundred photographs this is by far the largest theatre-blog to date. Kudos to all of you! Extra-Special Acknowledgement to [blog womenlooking4fun] womenlooking4fun for suggesting this project. Thanks babe, (remind me to thump you later) 
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You came in while I was still posting it, PrincessKarma. Along with ol Cratchit up there. I had to use 18 comments just to get it in here with all the pix intact! I think it is in order now though.
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Oh sweetie...you have absolutely outdone yourself this time! Every production gets better and better. And I LOVE the sly little things that were worked in. What deft subtleties. Keith this is WONDERFUL! M Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]
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Wow!!!!!! Loved it! Encore! everyone out for one more bow!!! keep on bloggin' Keith
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Absolutely amazing, Keith. Thank you and Merry Christmas! Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde
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oh my good god what a brilliant man you are kieth...standing up giving you a standing ovation..now go to my room so i can have something wonderful to write about on my blog..teee heee...  []   Seduce my mind and my body
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Keith, I am glad I stuck around long enough to see this blog before I go..it is the perfect ending. Thank you kind and talented Sir for writing it for us all. Frangi xxx
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12/19/2005 5:58 pm |
Brilliant  DID YOU SEE SILKY WASNT SHE WONDERFUL I THINK I WILL WIN THE GOLDEN GLOBE hehehehheheh love ya babes (thanks for including me ) silky xxxxxxxxxx
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