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| Blogs > rm_bevila1 > Fun in The Sun |
Well Well
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Well Well Hello Guys i am back Valentines day is upon us and i suppose love is in the air hope you guys get what your heart desires and i hope you ladies get swept off your for feet. But as is customary with me i always use this platform to discuss more serious matters in my life. Well let me start i have been divorced now for a while and have joined this site firstly just to feel alive and wanted again but these days it is mostly about speaking to people and getting to share my opinion well ever since my separation i suspected that my wife was cheating on me and that is why she wanted out she of course denied it and nobody that knew her confirmed my suspicions in fact they all told me that they knew nothing and that it was not like my wife and that i was wrong even the psychologist told me that i was just looking for justification so that i could deal better with the rejection.Well these days that story is changing my are speaking more openly about the guy that i suspected originally and it seems that they see a great deal of him and then one of my wife's friends told me in a conversation that my wife is dating a guy and that she has been for quite a while i said that i was not concerned to which she answered something that was a bit strange she said you do not understand she has been dating this guy for a long time.Well i suppose that was some kind of hint i can not be sure.Then this week an employee of mine that was living in a room in my home during my marriage and shortly after wards told me this week when i mentioned that i had seen my wife in the mall,because i generally avoid the places she goes to and the employee had asked when i had seen her last well to my amazement she then said oh and she was not with her boyfriend ? which completely floored me not because there is a boyfriend but because everyone seems to be so open about it now i suppose i am now in the right frame of mind to hear these things to be honest i feel more relieved than upset in fact i strangely wish her the best i hope that she has found what she is looking for and that he can truly make her happy because to be honest i do not think i ever did she was always very critical of me and whenever i did not get her what she wanted.i was always getting the cold shoulder and told how i did not love her i do not think in retrospect that she ever loved me and most of my marriage was about me doing the high jump trying to disprove the fact that she suspected me of not loving her which is something that i only realized after wards. i would never be able to prove my love to her conclusively because it was not me that was not in love it was her failing to admit to herself and me that she did not want to be with me,look i was the one that condoned it so i am equally at fault.Truth be told i am alone now and do not know when i will be ready for a relationship again but i am happy for her more than i will ever admit to her she deserves to be happy truly happy we all do and i hope that this time she is with someone that she really wants to be with and that will make her happy.She will always be important to me as she truly seemed like the woman of my dreams whether that was an illusion or not it did feel amazing to wake up next to her every morning and watch her sleeping i never wanted to be next to anyone else but hey who knows maybe i will feel the same about someone else one day i hope so but i am also not betting my life on achieving it either whether it happens or not is not important to me anymore but if it does i will make sure the feeling is mutual and if it is i will appreciate every minute of it and will never let anything come between us of that i am sure !!!!!! Enjoy the weekend guys !!!!!!!!!!! |
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2/13/2009 12:08 am |
Wow, what a story. I really liked reading this because it is real and there is nothing more interesting than hearing or reading someones true or inner thoughts. The only way for you to be truly happy is to let go of the past and start living for your future. Take what you have learned and use it with your next relationships...eventually love will come to you when you least expect it and when you are not looking. When it is there you will know it because you know what loving someone feels like but when you are IN LOVE it will feel very different. There is a difference being in your comfort zone and being used to your every day life and.....actually stepping out of your "norm" and comfort zone. You will start thinking, doing, and trying new things with this person you are in love with, things that you would never do before. This is how you will know that it is true love. That person will give you confidence and make you feel secure naturally not by time spent together or knowing them longer. Any ways good luck to you.
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2/12/2009 11:29 pm |
i like to travel just to meet people, to know the culture they have
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