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Blogs > reallyready46 > Ramblings of a middle aged man

Not a really good mourning!  

reallyready46 64M
531 posts
12/9/2011 12:30 am
Not a really good mourning!

I have this friend, well she was on here at one time but dropped off. She called me back a couple of weeks ago to ask me to help move a refrigerator out of her house. It has not worked for several years. I was off work for about a week and a half. Just kept getting shoved off and back. Finally she decides its the big day. So in spite of a ton of my own stuff to do, I clear my afternoon for the phone call. Then its early evening, then mid-evening. I go over to a friends house to do some work and called her. Not ready yet I will call you when I am done with my Mom. So wait and wait. Finally about 1am I go over to start taking the Doors off figuring she has to be home shortly. I arrive and get in via the secret way. I get the Doors off and go in the living room to sit down figuring she will arrive any moment. Instead I find her asleep on the couch! WTF!

I find myself at a point where I just do not know what to do. I know she has had it rough for the last few years. My kind heart has tried to help. This is not the first time I have been at the house to help and she has been a no show/ no call. The house is a wreck and she never seems to have any to start projects with. She has a worthless Boyfriend.

Mean while one of my other friends, Slow and easy, waits for me to do painting at her place. We go out to movies from time to time and eat together from time to time also. She chats, calls emails, IMs all the stuff to stay in touch. On one hand I feel appreciated by one and used as a door mat by the other.

I hate to throw friends away but what to do??

reallyready46 64M
1383 posts
12/14/2011 10:30 am
    Quoting  :
I used to be like that. All these people told me I was being to hard on others. Guess I gotta go back to the old ways ah?


reallyready46 64M
1383 posts
12/12/2011 11:09 am
    Quoting btdt2009:
    This doesn't give her license to treat you like crap though and in a real friendship, nobody is keeping score.
True and after my meeting with another friend this weekend I see it more clearly. Another of my friends told me to get my head out of the sand. They know her too. So armed and ready I await the next phone call!


btdt2009 56F  
1466 posts
12/12/2011 5:15 am
    Quoting reallyready46:
    Good point. Back a couple of years ago when I had a rough patch, she would call and check up on me. We did get together and have some fun. So I just do not want to feel like I got mine now screw you.
This doesn't give her license to treat you like crap though and in a real friendship, nobody is keeping score.


reallyready46 64M
1383 posts
12/9/2011 8:02 am
    Quoting btdt2009:
    From what you describe, she really isn't a friend. It seems she is taking you for granted and you are allowing her to. Why? It's not up to you to rescue her. Friendship is earned. What is she doing to earn it?
Good point. Back a couple of years ago when I had a rough patch, she would call and check up on me. We did get together and have some fun. So I just do not want to feel like I got mine now screw you.


btdt2009 56F  
1466 posts
12/9/2011 5:42 am

 From what you describe, she really isn't a friend. It seems she is taking you for granted and you are allowing her to. Why? It's not up to you to rescue her. Friendship is earned. What is she doing to earn it?


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