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Blogs > im_soaking_wet > Sessions with Soaking

I'd Like to Check My Baggage Please  

im_soaking_wet 40F
4264 posts
4/18/2013 3:52 pm
I'd Like to Check My Baggage Please
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spiderj72 51M
7898 posts
4/18/2013 4:01 pm

 people often interchange baggage and history. history you learn from, baggage weighs you down. if you can tell the difference you are off to the races.


im_soaking_wet 40F
1024 posts
4/18/2013 4:04 pm
    Quoting spiderj72:
    people often interchange baggage and history. history you learn from, baggage weighs you down. if you can tell the difference you are off to the races.
Alternatively, it could be considered morphing your baggage INTO history...


DoctorBooty 43M
6426 posts
4/18/2013 4:33 pm

 No, I have preconceived notions of what i want and expect in a relationship based on what I've gotten or not gotten in previous ones.

I don't hold anger against many previous girlfriends that current girlfriends have to deal with, just doubts about whether someone cares about me through thick & thin.


Mister_Blue66 41M
Ask me for a photo
382 posts
4/18/2013 4:42 pm

 If you figure out a foolproof method let me know!

Most of the time I am fairly decent at not letting past experiences affect me. Sometimes though, if a situation is too similar to a past one I'll get a bit weirded out. Typically I try keep the weirdness to myself until I can sort it out, make myself sound not nuts


im_soaking_wet 40F
1024 posts
4/18/2013 8:55 pm
    Quoting DoctorBooty:
    No, I have preconceived notions of what i want and expect in a relationship based on what I've gotten or not gotten in previous ones.

    I don't hold anger against many previous girlfriends that current girlfriends have to deal with, just doubts about whether someone cares about me through thick & thin.
Do the doubts play a factor tho? They must.


im_soaking_wet 40F
1024 posts
4/18/2013 8:57 pm
    Quoting Mister_Blue66:
    If you figure out a foolproof method let me know!

    Most of the time I am fairly decent at not letting past experiences affect me. Sometimes though, if a situation is too similar to a past one I'll get a bit weirded out. Typically I try keep the weirdness to myself until I can sort it out, make myself sound not nuts
I try to take a moment and think "if I respond this way, will I regret it later?" or I will take longer and think of different scenarios of how it will play out. It takes time to do it... but it seems to work. Very rarely do things require a quick answer when it comes to relationship crap.


im_soaking_wet 40F
1024 posts
4/18/2013 8:58 pm
    Quoting  :
Isn't that the truth! lol


im_soaking_wet 40F
1024 posts
4/18/2013 9:01 pm
    Quoting  :
It comes down to inherent human nature. I agree.


DoctorBooty 43M
6426 posts
4/18/2013 10:12 pm

 In my head they do, and I tend to analyze what people say and determine what they really mean.

Its moreso myself and my inability to open up to someone easily that is the problem than anything they are doing.


oldirtybacchus 103M
9536 posts
4/19/2013 8:12 am

 I think it's difficult to make the distinction between what going to become baggage that holds you back, and simply hard life experience. There's a lot of overlap, the reason being that a lot of it has to do with perspective on the events. It's possible to see things in any way we choose.

Not taking much of it into future relationships is a simple matter: Eliminate hard expectations and go with the flow, freely learning more about yourself, the other person and allowing change to happen naturally.

Simple - but not easy and it seems that the vast majority of people will never accomplish that. I think it's probably more sane and practical to try hard to make sure expectations are reasonable and just travel light.
All are welcome to an audience with The Magnificent One oldirtybacchus


im_soaking_wet 40F
1024 posts
4/19/2013 2:23 pm
    Quoting DoctorBooty:
    In my head they do, and I tend to analyze what people say and determine what they really mean.

    Its moreso myself and my inability to open up to someone easily that is the problem than anything they are doing.
That sounds like a fair assessment. I guess the only thing you can do is realize that you are doing that, and hopefully steer away from it


im_soaking_wet 40F
1024 posts
4/19/2013 2:24 pm
    Quoting oldirtybacchus:
    I think it's difficult to make the distinction between what going to become baggage that holds you back, and simply hard life experience. There's a lot of overlap, the reason being that a lot of it has to do with perspective on the events. It's possible to see things in any way we choose.

    Not taking much of it into future relationships is a simple matter: Eliminate hard expectations and go with the flow, freely learning more about yourself, the other person and allowing change to happen naturally.

    Simple - but not easy and it seems that the vast majority of people will never accomplish that. I think it's probably more sane and practical to try hard to make sure expectations are reasonable and just travel light.
We all have expectations tho. It would take a massive change in style to minimize our expectations of others.


hunterpt 62M
13507 posts
11/17/2015 4:00 am

 some people caries a lot o baggage, i´m of the least baggage possible. Kisses


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