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| Blogs > im_soaking_wet > Sessions with Soaking |
What Kind of Life
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What Kind of Life This post is only viewable by TSmeet members. Join TSmeet now! |
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12/26/2014 10:00 pm |
I want my life to be happy. I am much happier now that I am on my own again. I know my limits and try to push them now and then. I want people to look back when I am gone and say "He done good". And not monetarily either.
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I believe that He who dies with the most toys wins. But there are things i want long-term that are just the ordinary things. Aut viam inveniam aut faciam Tips for Guys to Meet Women  Things i miss most about relationships
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Every person views wealth, materials, happiness, success, family etc all differently . What is strange and foreign to one person is normal to another. Some may view 7 countries in 6 weeks excessive while another is happy to do 1 or 2 in a week with their whole family but paying for 5 or 6 people makes it excessive even though its not the trip everyone wanted. Others are just happy to go camping at a nearby lake and pretend its a foreign land lol The life I wanna live is to just keep living. I won't agree with everyone and they won't all agree with me. I am kinda the jack of all trades, got some wealth, got some materials, got some family, got plenty of happiness.... yet after all of it I'm still here on this site looking for a little more happiness in life and I'm ok with that even if others are not
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SWEET
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"He wasn't interested in excess finances or materialistic things. He wanted to simply leave something that his kids can be proud of." That sounds pretty extraordinary to me. Measurement by material goods and wealth is a poor yardstick to be sure and of no lasting import.. "It's tough, frustrating and can be horrible on my personal life." There may be cause for pause and self reflection in that statement.
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I'm really not clear on what you mean by an "extraordinary life." By your comparative descriptions, it sounds like money. In my experience, sacrificing love and personal relationships (friends, children, family) for career success and money is a wasted life - and isn't extraordinary. I started my career as an attorney in the oldest law firm in Palm Beach, I met millionaires and many of the world's billionaires. (And they aren't particularly nice people that you would want to spend your life with, as a general rule). I did have some really great adventures - and I am all for travel and attaining "life experiences" ... like skydiving and some other crazy shit I've done. DoctorBooty and I are often at odds on this one. I see material things "stuff" as being a burden, just shit you have to take care of. That old adage of, "You don't own it, it owns you." It's good to have a nice house, but when you spend every weekend having to work in the yard and clean/fix shit - you have too much house. It's nice to have a nice car, but if you are going to have to go out of your way to park it where it will be safe, and it will spoil your day if you get a door ding - you have a more expensive car than you should. I don't want to work my ass off for shit that a storm could sweep away, or waste thousands of dollars insuring that shit, in case a storm would sweep it away. I'd rather have more free time to enjoy myself, and travel and have adventures, and even just sit around and be completely lazy with people I love. I could have had a fantastic career, been partner in a huge South Florida law firm by now, or a judge. I could have a lot more money by now. But I was unmarried and pregnant at 27 and I made my daughter the biggest priority in my life, at the expense of a career and finding a good relationship for myself. Now at 44, my daughter is 17 and I took a risk and met someone I never would have in the past ... And I have Doc - and other than my daughter, he is the next most important thing in my life - and I will move, sell my house, give up a career, tell my annoying family members to fuck off if they try to sabotage us. I truly believe, at this stage of my life, that having a best friend/love/sex/life partner is pretty much the most important thing in life. When that part of your life is stable, everything else falls into place. My previous boyfriend, I did actually have a great friendship/relationship with ... but there was never "sex" and he couldn't financially support himself (much less, take care of me if I were to need it). When people are a couple, and one is unemployed, or sick or going through a crisis, having someone there for you is an invaluable safety net (just practically-speaking). I thought (still do) that people who married their high school sweethearts, and were stuck in unhappy relationships, and never experienced life were sad and pathetic. Then you see my dad and his third wife, who have been together 31 years now, and are best friends, and do everything together, and both worked (missiles and space) to where their combined annual incomes the last couple decades were $500k - and they spend it all on travel, hobbies, their horses. Now - their horse/animal hobby does get to that point where I think it owns them. They have very little freedom, but it's what they love. So what I am basically saying ... don't sacrifice personal relationships for shit that won't love you back. You will really end up regretting it. Talk to some people who work with Hospice patients, the elderly, and the dying - and see what they have to say about what people talk about at the end of their lives that mad them happiest, and what they regretted most. I've heard it said, "No man, on his death bed, said I should have worked more." And as for the, "He who dies with the most shit, wins," crap. I dread ... and I mean DREAD when my grandmother dies, all of her shit that I am going to have to deal with. Not the real estate, investments, bank accounts - obviously. I already handle the real estate. But her cars, her jewelry (which is insane), her clothes, furs and all the EXPENSIVE SHIT she has accumulated and refuses to part with so we can get her I to a more comfortable home. And the minute she does, most of that shit is going to be a major ordeal to try to sell and get even a fraction back of what it originally cost. She has a convertible 2004 Lexus SC 430 I just took to the shop for regular "maintenance" that has less than 7,000 miles on it. Yeah, those numbers are right. 10 years old, 7,000 miles. Originally a $45,000 car sitting in the fucking garage, paying insurance on it, constantly replacing the battery, taking it in for $100 oil changes every six months - because she has to have it. I don't know how many miles her new Lexus has, but it isn't much more than that. And when my grandfather died, we had to sell two cars (they had four). And she spends (this is serious) easily $100k a year on jewelry. (And you can NEVER get your money back out of jewelry ... you can go to some jewelers (we have one in the Caribbean) and "trade up" for better stuff. But you are lucky to get half the value back if you want cash (nobody resells the jewelry unless it's antique estate stuff ... they take it apart) - and you have to have appraisals and really know your shit to not get ripped off. And she lives in a huge house full if "collectible" shit, with a pool that has been maintained almost thirty years and maybe has had someone swim in it ten times. My grandfather worked his ass off so she could buy a bunch of shit she never uses. And she is the most bitter, jealous, miserable human being you have ever met in your life. And has told me, my mom, my brother, and our kids, she wishes she never had a kid (my mom - and by extension, "us") because if we hadn't been around, she'd have more stuff. But when she wants to go on a trip, it a cruise ... she is begging for us to come (and pays for everything) ... because she has no friends, and then she makes the trips so fucking miserable, we all wish we never went. And this isn't NEW behavior. She was like this in her 20's and 30's. I was born when she was 36 - so I've seen it all my life. Sorry for the "book" but your post struck a nerve. I can send you pictures of my two grandmothers, the "sweet happy one" who focused on family and friends and the "greedy miserable one" who focused on money and material shit. I guaranty, you will know in a second which one was which and easily tell who lived a "more extraordinary life."
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I wouldn´t basically change my past life, only would do some fine adjustments. Kisses
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