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| Blogs > OneStrangeBeast > The Beast Burrow |
5 Wonderful Ways to Enter Edition
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5 Wonderful Ways to Enter Edition  Today, my toilet paper clad horde, I'll be wrapping up a series of posts that have covered several burrows... Errrr... Blogs. Jules1590 led us off by posting a few thoughts on dying on her own terms. I followed her up with my top 10 preferred methods to depart my Earthly shell, and KarlBloggerfeld gave us his list of not so desired methods of kicking the bucket. I'd like to bring things full circle today with my list of some of the coolest ways a person could be born. I tried to choose locations and circumstances that would prepare a person for the challenges life can throw your way. 1 ). To be spat from the womb of a woman free falling during a sky dive. If your first experience outside the comfort zone of your mother's innards is plummeting earthwards at terminal velocity, everything else should seem like cake. Not having learned the dangers of gravity yet might limit an infant's understanding of the true scope of their dilemma, but the overall experience should still teach a valuable first lesson. Ensure there are a couple fully qualified sky diving wet nurses on hand to safely catch the newborn prior to impact. 2 ). To be delivered immediately adjacent to a live volcano as it spews rivers of flaming, molten rock and precious metals. This method would teach a newborn to have a healthy respect for both the Earth, as well as Mother Nature. A few readily available fire extinguishers, a large tub of cool water, and possibly an economy sized tube of burn ointment would be the key items to have on hand to ensure a smooth delivery. 3 ). For your first vision of the harsh new world you've entered, try being delivered on the banks of a drought tightened, alligator infested river where the hunting has been severely diminished for months. The greeting you will receive from our reptilian brethren and sistren will be both cold-blooded, and filled with widely grinning mouths, delighted to make your acquaintance. A bucket of raw steaks is the preferred tool to help the medical team and the newly arrived humanoid make their escape once the umbilical is cut. 4 ). To fully appreciate the species that you yourself are now joining in the struggle for survival, see if you can't be born on the front lines of just about any minor to medium level dispute between nations. There are international treaties and signed agreements fully established to guarantee innocent, civilian bystanders shall not be harmed, so you should be just fine. 5 ). My final locale for being born, and I truly feel this is the star of the show, is to be born to circus folk, under the big top. You'll immediately begin to learn a valuable trade, travel the country, and experience untold wonders. You'll also be raised by a varied assortment of individuals who will each bestow their unique point of view onto you. I'm sure you'll turn out just fine. BEAST OUT Bonus Material! Expand your blogging knowledge with OneStrangeBeast's Little Known Facts of the Circus Program. Today's Topic: Lingo. A Brodie is an accidental fall which has an element of clumsiness or stupidity. It was named after Mr. Steve Brodie, who claimed to have survived a jump from the Brooklyn Bridge in 1886. |
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A Brodie is an accidental fall which has an element of clumsiness or stupidity. It was named after Mr. Steve Brodie, who claimed to have survived a jump from the Brooklyn Bridge in 1886. That's funny. All of my friends and co-workers call that an ellee...especially if there are a set of concrete stairs involved. I actually kinda like #5...imagine the fun you could have as a kid.  I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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Jules, I so obviously wrote alligator, and crocodiles have a long, thin snout, not a short, thick snout.
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A Brodie is an accidental fall which has an element of clumsiness or stupidity. It was named after Mr. Steve Brodie, who claimed to have survived a jump from the Brooklyn Bridge in 1886. That's funny. All of my friends and co-workers call that an ellee...especially if there are a set of concrete stairs involved. I actually kinda like #5...imagine the fun you could have as a kid.
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You know, I've often wondered how different I'd have turned out if I'd been born into some seriously non-traditional community - like the traveling circus folk, or perhaps Canadians. karlbloggerfeld - Dry-humping your legs since 2007.
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damn i like the word sistren. that is pretty top notch wordifying. i gotta think where i would like to be born. maybe the set of an all lesbian porno, or a harem maybe?
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You know, I've often wondered how different I'd have turned out if I'd been born into some seriously non-traditional community - like the traveling circus folk, or perhaps Canadians.
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damn i like the word sistren. that is pretty top notch wordifying. i gotta think where i would like to be born. maybe the set of an all lesbian porno, or a harem maybe?
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