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| Blogs > OneStrangeBeast > The Beast Burrow |
Do you smell a Squatch? Edition
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Do you smell a Squatch? Edition The Beast has discovered a rare gem of reality television my minions. If you've never seen an episode of Discovery Channel's Finding Bigfoot, you're missing out on the same treat I was. The show follows a group of four Bigfoot hunters from state to state as they attempt to prove the existence of nature's most elusive creature, the Sasquatch! They of course refer to the critters as a Squatch. As a matter of fact, the "researchers" use the term Squatch much like smurfs use the word smurf. Things are squatchy, they go squatching, something smells squatcherific, etc... This show is a non-stop barrel of monkey laughs. You've got to watch at least one episode, or your lives won't be complete. You can do it now, as you read and write your blogs. Pull up the Discovery Channel website and find the Finding Bigfoot section. You can play full episodes right here on your computer for your convenience. One of the researchers determines each episode; based on the type of geography, plants, and waterways, and the fact the location has a history of being "haunted" that every area they visit is rife with Sasquatch activity. It's surprising they don't just sit on your sofa and watch television themselves... maybe even Finding Bigfoot episodes. They were viewing a video shot by some teenagers who wanted to capture the bonfire they started near the woods on film for whatever reason. In the background a figure can be seen walking from right to left across the scene. One of the researchers went from doubt to certainty in the span of a single breath. To paraphrase him, it went something like this. "That could easily have been one of your own group who walked by on that side of the fire. It may have been a Squatch. It was absolutely a Squatch, no doubt about it!" These guys can turn any piece of "evidence" into a definite link to Bigfoot activity. "You see this depression in the grass here? This could only have been made by a mountain lion, or a squatch." Apparently those are the only two critters who sleep on the ground in the wilderness. That depression in the grass. One of the team actually got down on his hands and knees and began sniffing deeply all around it. I guess he's well versed in the odors left behind by a sleeping Sasquatch. I can only imagine it would smell furry and have the lingering aroma of wild berry farts. A couple members of this research team are also adept at mimicking the bellowing call of the woodland man-ape-bear-thing. They will separate into groups while searching and fool each other into believing they've located a Squatch. One group will hear a bellow in the distance only to learn over their radios that it was made by the other group. Occasionally though, neither splinter group will have made the call, at which point they all get extremely exited about the possibility that it was made by the real deal. They stumble through the woods with their night vision and listening equipment, but never luck upon a sleeping Bigfoot. It's also great to hear them, as they drive to a new location, swapping stories and reminiscing about past squatching exploits. "Hey, remember that time we nearly found and proved the existence of Bigfoot? I sure hope we nearly find and prove the existence of Bigfoot again on this trip." The really amazing aspect of this show is that it was popular enough to make it to season 2 so far. I can only imagine people keep tuning in for the sheer amusement of it all. At any rate. Do yourself a favor and watch at least one episode. I think you'll find it as entertaining as I did. BEAST OUT Bonus Material! Improve your Squatch hunting techniques with OneStrangeBeast's Bigfoot Tracking Program. Today's Helpful Hint: "Experts" say that a creature the size of a Sasquatch would require somewhere in the neighborhood of 5,000 calories per day to sustain itself. I recommend conducting your search in the nearest 7-11, near the nachos and chili bar.  |
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That is one of the funniest shows I have ever seen. There are squatched everywhere. My favorite line, "That adds up to a probably for me." I have to watch the rest of the first season, it is too funny not to watch... Smells grassy!
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That is one of the funniest shows I have ever seen. There are squatched everywhere. My favorite line, "That adds up to a probably for me." I have to watch the rest of the first season, it is too funny not to watch... Smells grassy!
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I pay a Squatch a bowl of wild blueberries and 2 rabbits a week to mow my lawn. I'm not sure if he eats the rabbits or uses them to wipe his ass. 
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When I was a little girl my dad and uncles used to send my brother and cousins out "snipe" hunting...sounds oddly familiar to Squatch hunting. LOL I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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When I was a little girl my dad and uncles used to send my brother and cousins out "snipe" hunting...sounds oddly familiar to Squatch hunting. LOL
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Dang I missed that the other night! Thanks for the reminder Beast, I shall go check it out. Regarding another new tv show...have you ever seen Duck Dynasty? A family from Louisana who made a famous duck call and are now millionares. Redneck millionares...hilarious!!! 
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Dang I missed that the other night! Thanks for the reminder Beast, I shall go check it out. Regarding another new tv show...have you ever seen Duck Dynasty? A family from Louisana who made a famous duck call and are now millionares. Redneck millionares...hilarious!!! You can really become a millionaire selling duck calls? I wouldn't think that would be a large enough market to make you that filthy rich. I really, really wish I had the start-up capital and know how to get my tool line off the ground. I would be a billionaire.
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i love the fact that the discovery channel has become jerry springer with technology. sweet zombie jesus, why do we feel the need to follow these loons around when there are so many captain america costume makers we could follow instead. cheap television is just that cheap television.
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i love the fact that the discovery channel has become jerry springer with technology. sweet zombie jesus, why do we feel the need to follow these loons around when there are so many captain america costume makers we could follow instead. cheap television is just that cheap television.
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