Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
Blogs > OneStrangeBeast > The Beast Burrow |
Hump and Pump Edition
Hump and Pump Edition It was one of those days my minions. I'm really going to have to fight hard not to drive somebody's teeth down their throat before I can get myself retired. I've spent 20 years working my ass off, showing up early, leaving late, and working circles around the next 3 or more men behind me most of the time. I did everything that was ever expected of me and plenty that wasn't. For whatever paperwork reason, the yearly board members continued to skip over me and decide I wasn't worthy of chief's anchors. They never send an explanation as to why you weren't chosen, so you're stuck trying to figure out what you need to correct on your own. Now here I am, nearly retired, and still hearing the same "Start acting like Chiefs!" Speech given to my peers and I by a new bunch of guys that were in our shoes probably a year ago. I haven't met the person who took the chief's exam, sent in a package, and calmly waited for the anchors to be pinned. They all anxiously await the results to be announced and drop a quiet little load in their pants when they actually see their name on the selectees list. It's not until the following cycle they act as if they knew all along the magic formula to get them in the club and wonder why you can't figure it out other than you must suck in some way, shape, or form. I reflect to November, 2010, when I was the Patrol Leader for a mission to guard a submarine anchored in Annapolis, Maryland. I wrote a thorough Patrol Brief and watch bill to include a dedicated duty armorer. The chiefs and officers hacked my plan apart and did away with the duty armorer, opting instead to keep all spare weapons and ammunition on board our boats. That led to somebody who should not have been carrying a weapon, accidentally shooting himself through the knee. So much for me acting like a chief. My plan was ignored in order to cut down on needed bodies. OK. Rant over. I feel better already. Sometimes you just have to get the toxins out on paper (so to speak) for it to no longer be poisoning your body and mind. I don't actually despise all chiefs, just the ones who make a point of saying stupid shit to me as I'm trying to wrap up this career of mine. Some of them I actually would consider friends if that sort of fraternization was allowed around here. On to my usually happy-go-lucky Beastly Goodness! I had a good show of support for the continued employment of those whacky nuts, Larry and Roger. The management has decided to keep them around after all and possibly even give them a bonus of some sort. Do any of you minions have any suggestions on what to give a pair of balls to show they're appreciated? Speaking of testicles. Did you know if you visit Wikipedia for either the topic of testicles or semen, you'll find information on the Testicles as Food, as well as the Ingestion of Semen? It's awfully kind of them to include that important information along with the other, more scientific mumbo jumbo. By the way. If you're wondering why poor Larry and Roger got so beaten up for today's edition, thank Jules1590. She personally requested too see them bruised and bloodied. I think her Minion In Charge Of Minion Discipline is going to her head. BEAST OUT Bonus Material! Get to know your or your partner's testicles with OneStrangeBeast's Get to Know Your or Your Partner's Testicles Program. Today's Testical Trivia: The right testicle of a right handed man usually hangs lower than the left, and the opposite normally holds true for a lefty. |
|||
|
i know the whole story of saving money and then having it bite you in the ass. i am living it this week. maintenance planners decide to resuse old parts instead of wait three days for the new ones. what we get is a week wait and still having to order the new parts because the old ones are fucked.
| ||
|
i know the whole story of saving money and then having it bite you in the ass. i am living it this week. maintenance planners decide to resuse old parts instead of wait three days for the new ones. what we get is a week wait and still having to order the new parts because the old ones are fucked.
| ||
|
I know what you said, Jules. I think The Beast can read between the lines, however, and determine what a minion is really thinking.
| ||
|
Do any of you minions have any suggestions on what to give a pair of balls to show they're appreciated? Hmmm...(thinking hard!!)...OH...HEY...I've got it. My mouth? baaaahhhaaaa I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
| ||
|
chief...is that the one in khaki???
| ||
|
Do any of you minions have any suggestions on what to give a pair of balls to show they're appreciated? Hmmm...(thinking hard!!)...OH...HEY...I've got it. My mouth? baaaahhhaaaa
| ||
|
chief...is that the one in khaki???
| ||
|
That's pretty vague.... but thank-you?
|
Become a member to create a blog