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| Blogs > OneStrangeBeast > The Beast Burrow |
Half a post Edition
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Half a post Edition I'll apologize up front. This is about half of what I had planned, and I never got around to doodling my awesome bird poop picture I had planned. An old frined that I havn't seen in years just moved back into town, and we've been catching up. The Beast warned you that the subject of conspiracies would arise within the burrow soon. Little did he realize, that he himself would so quickly be the target of a nefarious plot! I am under siege by a group of shadowy, terrorist minded, avian bastards! I suppose it could simply be a single bird, seeing as how I haven't personally witnessed the flagrant acts of sabotage firsthand. Whether it is the work of a single feathered foe, or a group of the winged sons-a-hens, my home has become a target of their dastardly deeds of devious destruction. The wall near my front door was assaulted by a mighty hail of fecal matter, leaving behind at least a dozen, one to three inch splatter patterns of white/brown goop which had previously traversed the digestive tract of a heinous terrorist on the winds. It took a wad of six Lysol (TM) brand disinfectant wipes for me to power through the dried, and encrusted mass of aerially launched Weapons of Mass Disgustion. This will not stand. The Beast has always been kind and generous to his brethren and sistren within the animal kingdom, as he feels a strong kinship with them. (The bunny rabbit I hit with my truck last week doesn't count. He committed suicide by bolting from the grass alongside the road on a perfectly timed self-destruction trajectory.) When members of the avian community engage in Anti-Beast activities, how long before reptiles get it into their cold blooded heads to do it as well? I'm sure you can all imagine the chain of events, eventually culminating with mammals turning on me. You must surely recognize that mammals equals minions. These birds must be stopped before their uprising can spread throughout the animal kingdom, and eventually lead inside the chambers of my very own Beastly sanctum! ______________________________________ |
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Half a post. Twice as funny. karlbloggerfeld - Dry-humping your legs since 2007.
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I hate birds. period.
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Ah Buttercup, didn't you know that the birds and the bunnies are fast friends? You say the bunny committed suicide, and yet, the birds are targeting you with massive poop bombs, perhaps said dead bunny was a longtime family friend. *sigh* You must find a way to make amends or they may step up the action and start targeting your truck...or even worse...your very own flat top. Now that would be tragic. Most tragic indeed. I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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