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| Blogs > OneStrangeBeast > The Beast Burrow |
Unintelligent Design Edition
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Unintelligent Design Edition I believe I have the final, definitive argument ender for whether Evolution, or Creation is the root cause of our existence here on the third orb of carbon from the sun... My cock and balls. If any one clump of soft, vulnerable, easily mangled meat can show that there's no way an intelligent being designed the human body, it would be my junk. KarlBloggerfeld may have an even more easily damaged set of meat and two vegetables, but we've never compared notes. I was originally going to use blind cave fish to illustrate my point here. Would an intelligent being really design a fish which has eyes that have been covered over by its own flesh over millions of years, rendering them useless? I suppose if the intelligent being had a really cruel sense of humor. What am I talking about? Every supreme being I've ever read about seems to have a cruel sense of humor. Back to my balls. As I was saying, a weak, vulnerable, easily kicked cock and balls combination would be one of the absolute worst designs in the history of engineering if an intelligent entity had been behind it. Just take a look , or any of the related, viral video websites, and type, "Hit in the Balls", into the search field. You'll probably find videos of men's junk being annihilated by everything from Airsoft Guns to kicks from a Zebra, along with the other 24 letters of the alphabet represented. Evolution is simply concerned with the survival and adaptation of a species, so keeping the sperm cool enough in the baby maker sac by locating it outside the furnace of the body was a fair enough trade. Had an actual intelligent assembly line worker been on duty, there would, bare minimum, be some sort of retractable shield between a man's junk and the outside world while it wasn't in use. If an intelligent being, who was also fairly hip had been in charge, an accompanying cool ass noise would be involved as well. It wouldn't necessarily need to be as complex as the Transformers sounds as they shift from robot to car mode. I do have the two coolest sounds in all of comic books in mind, however. I'm thinking something akin to Wolverine's classic "Snikt!" to signal that a set of cock and balls have emerged for business, and possibly Nightcrawler's classic "Bamf!" To accompany everything retreating back to safety once the junk is no longer needed. I believe had an intelligent being designed a retractable shaft and nuggets, the evolutionary need, whatever it was once upon a time, for pubic hair could have been eliminated as well. Think of the time, money, and effort involved in manscaping that could be saved. Maybe one day, when we're all hybrid, cyborg entities, not only will men have retractable balls and telescoping cocks, but we'll also have a tiny nozzle which sprays pheromones directly into the faces of potential sexual partners. Psssssst Psssssssst Pssssssssst. That will be the non-stop sound heard in every nightclub once that day arrives. There will be a dense cloud of pheromones hanging low over the dance floor, and flowing along the floors near the bar like dry ice in those old mystery movies. Until that day arrives, men are stuck with the decidedly dumbass design of having their wang and marbles dangling dangerously close to any and all hazards this world can throw, heave, drop, punt, swing, catapult, rotate, accelerate, or gravitate toward them. This is a condition which confirms to me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there wasn't, isn't, and never will be an all powerful, invisible being in the sky, who gives two rips about the plight of humanity... Or its balls. Don't even get me started on chafing. BEAST OUT |
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I agree with Classy- I couldn't get the visual of the side by side comparison out of my head  .."...and then God created the orgasm, so women can moan even when they are happy"- Tantra 
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How's a side by side visual going to establish which of us has the potentially more tender and fragile dangly bits?
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I agree with Classy- I couldn't get the visual of the side by side comparison out of my head
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I think you're missing the point of the side by side comparison buttercup. It doesn't have to make sense...it just is. I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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I think you're missing the point of the side by side comparison buttercup. It doesn't have to make sense...it just is. 
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I dunno about the side by side, but what I DO want to know is if men are made in God's image, why did He have reproductive organs in the first place? Unsurprisingly, my theology professor in college was not happy with that question. karlbloggerfeld - Dry-humping your legs since 2007.
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I dunno about the side by side, but what I DO want to know is if men are made in God's image, why did He have reproductive organs in the first place? Unsurprisingly, my theology professor in college was not happy with that question. I still want to know what pulled hundreds of chariots to give chase to the jewish people once they fled Egypt, considering that all of the livestock was killed during the plagues of Moses....and then covered in boils. What's the point in covering something with boils after it's already been killed? The Bible..... Wheeeeee....silly.
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