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| Blogs > WeWantAdventures > Adventures Await! |
What does the 'lingo' mean to you?
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What does the 'lingo' mean to you? P and I were soaking in the hot tub last night, and I asked her what she would like for her next 'adventure'. She didn't say much at first, then, we talked about how busy we are for the next few weekends. As we sat looking at the stars and the big full moon, she said she was 'looking forward to finding the right couple'. We talked at length about that aspect, and even discussed some of the couples we have met. We talked about the one couple we had gone out with, all seemed to click, and we 'made a playdate'. Only we thought it was a playdate. Seems there was quite the mix up on what each of us thought the terms meant. Sitting at the table in a crowded place, we had all agreed the first time together would be a 'soft swap' event. No pressures on anyone to do anything they weren't ready for, and all four of us agreed to the concept of a soft evening. In subsequent emails prior to the evening, we had even again agreed everything was to stay 'soft'. The other hubby and I had even gone as far as to discuss what the ladies liked, so we could make certain they had a good time. The night of the date (it was a hot summer night) we did a cookout at our place. I did ribs and chicken on the grill, they brought a really nice salad, and I made one of my signature desserts. We had wine, beer, and some liquor available based on what we were told they like. Thought we had it covered. After eating, a nice swim, and some hot tub time it was suggested we 'have dessert' inside, and all seemed to eagerly agree. That is when we found out they had a different definition of soft. As I served dessert, his wife had a funny look. She said "Aren't you guys going to have sex?" P gave her a strange look and said "Thought we agreed on soft swap???" B looked panicked. "Swap? No Swap! We thought we were coming here to watch you guys have sex!" I looked right at him, and he had a really guilty look on his face. I looked right at her and asked what she thought 'soft swap' meant. She replied that her hubby told her it meant watching! P very quietly said that wasn't what it meant to us, explained what we took it to mean. She had a horrified look on her face (and now I was feeling none to excited!) and said she never had any intention of doing anything with anyone else but her hubby! P said we really weren't exhibitionists, and seems we had a miscommunication. We had dessert, made some slightly uncomfortable small talk and they left. Funny/strange part of the event? Next day we got an email, telling us what a wonderful time they had and they wanted to do it again! And next time would it be possible to skinny dip and naked hot tub? And they still wanted to watch us have sex! We tell this story so if we ask what a term means to you, this is why. We want to make certain we are on the 'same page' so no one has a horrified look on their face during the evening (ok, that still might happen when I get naked, but usually I get the hysterical laughter face instead! LOL....) Have you had experiences with folks having different meaning for terms? If so, how did you handle it? Or do you set the 'expectations' prior? (like we thought we did!) And what do you do when things don't go as planned? Oh, and we haven't had that couple over since! |
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Well lingo and terms can be confusing. I remember seeing NSA and thinking, "what the hell does the National Security Agency have to do with sex?" Best to always find out the level of experience then explain from there. That being said, I do think the male was trying to play the situation. There are people out there that will try to change the situation to please themselves. I try to meet with no expectations of how things will go. I have found that in the lifestyle the word no is powerful. That also extends to things you have not agreed to. Never feel like you can not say no. No this is not what we agreed to. Explain your reason then just say no. As far as the reaction to you dropping your pants, try a dark room it has always worked for me! lol
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