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dirty jokes #1099
dirty jokes #1099 An Irishwoman of advanced age visited her physician to ask His help In reviving her Husband's libido. "What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor. "Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin". "Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an Irish Viagra. Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went". It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid. Just terrible, doctor!". "Really? What happened" asked the doctor? "Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate! He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!" "Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good"? "Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed! 'Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again." New British Invention A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants. This is a major breakthrough. Women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them. Lovemaking Aid Ewis walked into my office carrying a strange looking bottle. "What’s that?" I asked. "It’s a bizarre product we found." "What does it do?" "It is supposed to be a topical lovemaking aid for women," he said examining the bottle. "When applied to the...er...umm...clitoris a rush of blood is let in and the woman is supposed to experience pleasures she’s never dreamed of." "Gimme that stuff!" I said grabbing it out of his hand. I looked at the directions for use. It said: Apply liberally with tongue. |
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7/18/2006 5:40 pm |
cute especially the last one
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