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Daily Dose of Humor 3-Mar-2007  

rm_longliner002 57M
135 posts
3/3/2007 9:20 am
Daily Dose of Humor 3-Mar-2007


Daily Dose of Humor 3-Mar-2007

Peace And Quiet

A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly.
"Is everything okay, pal?", the bartender asks.
"My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn't talking to me for a month!".
Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, "Well, maybe that's kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?"
"Yeah. But today is the last day".

Once upon a time there dwelt, in Fairy Land, a
particularly
beauteous young man. He was kind of heart and
fair of face and
form. But, woe and dismay, he also felt accursed,
because he had,
protruding from his navel, a silver screw.

Verily he could conceal it by adjustment of
doublet and hose, yet
it did sorely trouble him. So that each day he
would go into the
deep dark woods and sit in a glade, staring sadly
at the silver
screw.

Then one day an old crone came through the woods
carrying a
bundle of firewood. The kindly youth adjusted his
clothing to
conceal his shame and said to her, 'Old crone,
that bundle is too
heavy for you to carry. Let me lift thy burden.'

The crone was grateful and took him through the
woods to her
gingerbread cottage where she revealed that she
was, in fact, a
witch. 'But you have been so kind to me that I
will grant you a
wish.'

The youth didn't need to consider the wish for a
moment. 'Please,
please, rid me of this silver screw in my navel.'

The crone bade him go to a distant mountain and
to climb to a
rocky ledge. There he was to exhort the heavens
using a magic
spell that she provided. The youth followed her
instructions and,
struggling through the cruel and stinging woods,
came to the
ledge. There he began to exhort the heavens,
using the crone's
magic spell.

Suddenly, the blue skies vanished and dark somber
clouds
appeared. A great wind sprang up and he heard a
sound like angels
singing. And from the black clouds came a great
shaft of light
that focused on him. And down that shaft of light
came a giant
golden screwdriver.

As the singing reached a crescendo, the
screwdriver reached the
silver screw, fitting into the groove on its
head. The giant
golden screwdriver turned once, twice, thrice,
then retreated up
the shaft of light which, in turn, disappeared.
As did the dark
boiling clouds and celestial chorus.

The young man looked down at the silver screw and
tentatively
touched it with trembling fingers. Yes, it was
loose! So he
turned the screw once, twice, thrice! And his bum
fell off

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