Summer Solstice Encounters
|
Posted:Jun 25, 2010 2:10 am
Last Updated:May 31, 2013 1:38 am
7790 Views
|
The summer solstice at Stonehenge once again brought a tribe of unwashed, bedraggled societal dregs to the circle of Stonehenge, much to the annoyance of the porcine occupants of the large pig-farm opposite. Disturbed from their sleep well before feeding time they grunted rudely as self-styled Druids despoiled the sacred stones without any understanding of their sexual significance.
Nearby however, over a low hill, in the grey of the pre-dawn light, the girls of the Lesbian Circlet indulged in their favourite summer ritual. Standing in a human replica of the famous stones, their partners spanning their shoulders like the giant cap stones, they licked and bit at each others clitorises, climaxing simultaneously as the first red glow of sun threw the long shadow of an erect penis between the naked legs of a virgin lying at their feet. I had the priveliege of being invited to provide the "alter stone" for the performance, and was rewarded by being sucked off by the Chief Lesbian afterwards.
Those druids don't know what they are missing.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Snowfall Boosts UK Libido
|
Posted:Jan 6, 2010 2:53 am
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2010 6:02 am
6929 Views
|
The global fight against celibatism was given a boost this week as heavy snowfall covered the whole of the UK. Naked revellers were witnessed indulging in public sex acts across the country under the cover of an eighteen inch layer of lying snow.
It is of course well known that the rubbing of icy cold crystals against the skin increases blood flow and sensitivity, but couples all over the country have also taken advantage of conditions to indulge in the rare pleasure of toboggan sex.
Just watch out for frostbite. And keep your legs closed in the event of a crash!
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
A big sex project
|
Posted:Oct 9, 2009 2:36 am
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2010 3:26 am
4896 Views
|
Hi, I know I haven't been here much lately, and that isn't likely to change any time soon. I am working on a big project which is taking up all my time.
With luck there may be other agents on hand to help. I was here just testing something out, nothing I need to tell you about, but perhaps all will be revealed at some point.
Meanwhile, Fight Global Celibatism:
If you are a blogger WRITE SEXIER BLOGS.
If you have a lover, GIVE SEXIER HEAD.
And then write sexy blogs about it.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Needed By A Friend
|
Posted:Sep 25, 2009 9:06 am
Last Updated:Aug 4, 2011 3:19 pm
3826 Views
|
I was going to write a post but a friend in need rang and I ran out of time. No one is reading anyway so it doesn't matter. Well one person probably is. Hi there, sorry I have been quiet. We are closer in another life these days. Got to go now but in the words of the Govenor of California
"I'll be back!"
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
Sex Will Power the World
|
Posted:Aug 20, 2009 7:05 am
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2010 3:25 am
3391 Views
|
Results of a ten year European program of research into the enormous power of brain wave electricity was released today from the Central Liberian Institute of Technology, amid speculation that a power source to rival that of nuclear fusion may have been discovered. The ability of the brain to release electrical impulses has of course been known for many years but recent research by the Foundation for Universal Copulatory Kinetics has suggested that the Orgasm, by producing more powerful electrical discharge than any other brain activity, is the key to mankinds future power needs.
Following a line of enquiry first initiated by former Hamburg University Mathematics Professor Dr Herman Hymenclimber
CLIT has established that it is the electrical release of countless millions of daily orgasms which creates the magnetic field by which the earth itself is caused to rotate. When the Earth moves, the Earth moves so to speak.
Meanwhile here in Wiltshire, scientists at the Goolyhill Down Large Gonad Collider have been at work day and night creating electro-magnetic power from the near continuous orgasms of highly trained nymphomaniac volunteers from the Supreme Union of Carnal Kinesiology. Working in six hour shifts SUCK subjects are strapped to the collider and subjected automatically to a constant sexually rhythmic humping. Apart from one or two cases of advanced Plato's Symposium, (a slight soreness and degeneration of the skin around the genitals ) no adverse effects have been recorded.
Perhaps it is only a matter of time before wave energy and solar power are supplanted as the great ecological hopes for the future. In years to come every bedroom will be equipped with an Orgasm Power Converter linked in to the National Grid.
-Sex Reuters.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Aural Sex
|
Posted:Aug 6, 2009 6:03 am
Last Updated:Oct 1, 2009 10:18 am
2434 Views
|
Prompted by a fellow agent I am moved to consider my future in the world of voice assisted orgasm. The old fashioned phrase "whispering Sweet Nothings" did not spring into being without cause.
The English accent is a well known aphrodisiac of course. I am often asked to read Shakespeare to the assembled nymphomaniacs of the Lesbian Stone Circle Group as they squirm in orgasmic aural ecstacy. If it were not for my role as International Sex Rescue Co-Ordinator I would be thinking of charging for it. A voice like mine does have its Benefits.
I have registeered my limited company - Voice Alone Generated Orgasms, "VAGO" for short, and expect orders for my services at any moment.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Blogjob, The Apprentice
|
Posted:Jul 27, 2009 4:51 am
Last Updated:Aug 6, 2009 5:50 am
2268 Views
|
Forgive me bloggers, it has been three months since my last entry, and I'm not talking about that time I violated Velma Lipschlippt while she was unconscious after a night on the fortified coconut schnappa either.
The life of a secret sex agent, (or Carnal Intelligence Officer as we prefer to be called,) isn't easy as you know.
After I failed to complete the story of Elementria Mydia-Watson's famous arrest at Monte Carlo, and my subsequent absence from work following the resignation of my long time muse Ophelia Cox, my licence was revoked by the agency, and I have been lying low at Jently Hall, ministered to by the kindly girls of the Stonehenge Lesbian Circle.
Fortunately the world-wide success of the Jently Jiant has kept my financial situation secure and I am now sufficiantly recovered, at least to recommence some desk work, even if not to face the perils of field work against world celibatism just yet.
I have been able to keep a seperate line of communication open and I am happy to say that Agents Z and F have kept up their tireless work erotcizing the four corners of the globe, but I feel new recruits are needed and to that end I am inviting applications for apprenticeships.
If anyone is reading perhaps you would like to submit your erotic tales below?
Sincerely Yours,
Your ever horny Uncle JJ.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Head Fucking
|
Posted:Apr 22, 2009 7:09 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2010 1:59 am
2312 Views
|
On hearing the news that Tesco had increased its turnover despite the recession, to become the world's third largest retailer, I headed straight there. Three large blocks of triple chock chunk shortbread later I found myself inspired to visit the blogs and WOW I was not disappointed!!!!
I had heard of the famous head-fuck position of course, but had never seen it depicted in all its awesome actuality before. We are indebted to agent F for her unstinting research to find the pictorial evidence that this position, considered an urban myth by many, is in fact, reality.
I am reminded of the time I tried this with my occasional American girlfriend Ophelia Cox. Despite my double jointed skull and her copious cervical capacity, I still couldn't get in past the eyeballs. My cap-lamp probably didn't help.
I had thought that only one woman, the infamous Norma Scunt, had been known to successfully complete the manoeuver, indeed she was reputed to have once attempted a "double header". Her subsequent trial and excecution for murder is of course the main focus of Dr Herman Heimenclimer's thesis on "modern sexual practices" first published in 1897 - essential reading on the academys advanced course.
But in this picture, the male participant looks comfortable and still, if not breathing, alive at least. We must redouble our efforts to fully understand this technique. Either that or eat more shortbread.
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
Raspberry Cream Scones
|
Posted:Mar 24, 2009 10:13 am
Last Updated:Aug 6, 2009 11:00 am
2298 Views
|
My apologies for long absence.
By the way, I have decided to move on to raspberry cream scones, mmmmm, delicious.
(I was interrupted whist writing by a cold call from the local newsagent offering me half-price newspapers. Some celibatist plot I assume.)
Sales of the Jently Jiant have gone up by 100% in recent days, bucking the recession. Well, bucking something anyway.
No other drivel springs to mind so I am out of here.
JJ
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
The Alternative is never as good.
|
Posted:Feb 11, 2009 7:01 am
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2010 3:24 am
2079 Views
|
OMG. Sainsbury's have started making their own version of Tesco's chocolate chunk shortbread. I feel disloyal - but I tried some. It isn't the same. I ate one piece, but I didn't want a second one, I was able to leave the others in the packet. You can't do that with Tesco's, with Tesco's you always want more....It is packaged the same, looks pretty much the same, but somehow it feels different on my tongue.
I guess it is like women. Sainsbury's is more convenient, nearer, more.......available. But sometimes it is necessary to make the effort to get to the shortbread you love, even if there is something nearly the same closer at hand.
What should I do, should I give up on Tesco's, (I never go there otherwise, and often when I get there they have no shortbread ) try to learn to love the taste of Sainsbury's version, which will always be there for me, or should I go all the way for Tesco's, go without even if they have nothing for me, and simply live a shortbread-celibate life ecept on those rare wonderful occasions when our paths and timing corss?
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
The Annual Daisy Chain
|
Posted:Feb 4, 2009 9:37 am
Last Updated:Aug 6, 2009 6:11 am
2001 Views
|
The stone circle daisy chainers performed their annual ritual in the deeply snow covered grounds of Jently Hall yesterday afternoon. Always held on the sexually significant date of February 3rd, the sixteen strong nubile circle of lesbians writhed and moaned in the freezing snow, their nipples straining skywards like gorgeous mountain peaks as they carressed, licked and rubbed each other to a monumental simultaneous orgasm.
I watched spellbound from the arched window until it steamed up and then went to prepare a restorative communual hot bath. In which I plan to join them later, pressure of work permitting.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
The Mission Continues
|
Posted:Feb 4, 2009 9:15 am
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2010 3:24 am
1930 Views
|
I am still working on my mission. It hasn't been easy and the supplies of bread have been short.
Agents Z and S have been their usual helpful selves.
Meanwhile I feel a few humourous visits to some favourite bloggers coming on. Have i been reading yours??
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
Guess What
|
Posted:Dec 10, 2008 2:25 pm
Last Updated:Feb 4, 2009 9:20 am
1717 Views
|
I am still here.
Still no appetite for shortbread though.
I see two of the blogs I watch have respectively 250 and 335 posts since I was last here! Blimey - that's more than five a day, that can't be right!
I have only one watcher left. I wonder who that is.......
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (Jierks_Jently) use [blog Jierks_Jently] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
241
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
