You're Going to Hate~
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Posted:Jan 21, 2020 11:45 pm
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2021 3:08 pm
6649 Views
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When he whispers~
I'm going to put you on your knees.... You're going to hate how much you love it ~ ❤️
When he promises ~
I'm going to do bad things with you... You're gonna hate how much you love it ~ 💜
When he declares ~
"MINE"... You're going to hate how much you love it ~ 🧡
When he pulls your hair aside ~
Placing His collar upon your neck... You're going to hate how much you love it ~ 💙
When he holds your chin up~
Adding the leash that binds you to him... You're going to hate how much you love it ~ 💛
When he whispers~
Good , and kisses your forehead ~ you're going to hate how much you love it ~💚
When he tells you ~
Our love is for infinity... You're going to hate how much you love it ~ 🔗
She replies~
I hate how much I love it ~ 💖
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6
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Saying Goodbye~
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Posted:Jan 18, 2020 3:11 pm
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2020 12:11 am
6154 Views
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Yesterday i had say goodbye someone very dear . Someone who knew me and loved me in spite of myself.
I will miss the laughter, the sexy talks, the accountability, the way we finished each other's sentences and thoughts, the way we always knew how the other felt just by the tone of voice.
You had become so much a part of me, that i couldn't even see my life without you in it, but after the last couple of months, and a recent event, it's apparent that our time has officially finished it's season.
I am growing up, becoming more confident in the things i need and not willing to settle for less.
You helped me in my journey, and i thank you for that~ i will always love you ~
But if i were to stay, i'd only be in your way, so i must go~
To my Dominant of the past 3 (our Anniversary was Jan 15) ~ i wish you joy and happiness, but above all else, i wish you love~
These last few months helped heal and transform an ugly ending a beautiful beginning as we go our separate ways~
God speed, Sir, may your heart be filled with many happy memories.
I love you infinity~
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3
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The Sparkling Jewel~
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Posted:Nov 20, 2019 9:59 pm
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2020 12:41 am
6472 Views
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DISCLAIMER ~ ALT LIKES TO BUTCHER GRAMMAR AND OMIT WORDS, THE ORIGINAL IN IT'S ENTIRETY IS POSTED AS FIRST COMMENT~
“I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.”
― Anaïs Nin
“I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”
― Anais Nin
I previously wrote the following about 2 months ago~
I want to fit the desires of my Sir
I want to try new things, to be trained to be His personal slut.
I want my limits respected yet to be a stepping path to something more.
I want to be under the control of my Sir, to submit to him in totality.
I want to trust Him with no concern, no harm to me emotionally or physically.
I want a passion deeper than the ocean.
I want to surrender in a complete power exchange.
I want to be His, owned, loved, preferred, cherished, His muse.
I want to not have to want these things.
i want to be all this. To Him, my Sir.
i was asked to pen my thoughts about my goals as a submissive/slave as well as thoughts and desires for my future path~
Maybe the path isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about un-becoming what i was never meant to be in the first place. The layers that cover me of what the world says i should be, what my family and church says i should be, need to become unsheathed and expose me in my rawness and genuineness.
I have already started the path to a healthier version of the submissive i am suppose to be~ i am feeding my brain by reading everything i can get my hands on about being a desired and cherished submissive. My soul is full of love and support~ so what is left?
The unveiling~ each new adventure unveils more of my true self as i shed the layers that bind me, only to seek the ropes and chains that will set me free~
I am a diamond in the rough ~ a sparkling magical creature that with the right guidance and nourishment, will un-become the worldly one and emerge as the sparkling jewel in her submissiveness that she is meant to be~
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The End ~ and then The Beginning
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Posted:Oct 27, 2019 5:50 pm
Last Updated:Nov 4, 2019 6:22 pm
7078 Views
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months after a brutal ending an intense and heart wrenching split with former Master, we were able finally come a close with amicable words of love lost and hope for each other's future.
Im not a fighter, i hate it, and i have been told many times that i'm like an ambassador, always wanting to keep the peace.
So the turmoil of having such harsh feelings for someone i loved so deeply for years are finally gone~
I will still always wonder about our "infinity", but i know for me, i need to move on and i'm ready now that this chapter has a final close to it.
I still have unanswered questions, but the important thing is knowing we do not hate each other~
It's best to move forward and enjoy what this life has to offer~
I can't wait to see what it is!
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4
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FUCKOLOGY FRIDAY~
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Posted:Oct 18, 2019 12:31 am
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2019 10:36 pm
6669 Views
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Fuckology Friday~
You're gonna a lot of people off when you start doing what is best for you~
I wasn't raised like y'all. My mama whooped my ass. She even killed me one time~
Well, hello there, you look like a bad decision, come on over here~
My age doesn't bother me.... it's the side effects~
When people tell me they are "spiritual" i'm like ~ "demons are spirits too... be more specific~
There are two and a half months left in this decade.
IN. THIS. DECADE.
TAKE THAT RISK!!!
......AND my favorite one for today......
They don't discard you for someone better. They discard you for someone who can't see their bullshit~
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I Want ~
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Posted:Sep 15, 2019 5:40 pm
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2019 10:54 pm
8088 Views
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I want t0 fit the desires 0f my Sir
I want t0 try new things, t0 be trained t0 be His personal slut.
I want my limits respected yet t0 be a stepping path f0r something more.
I want t0 be under the control 0f my Sir, t0 submit to him in totality.
I want to trust Him with n0 concern, n0 harm t0 me, emotionally or physically.
I want a passion deeper than the ocean.
I want t0 surrender in a complete power exchange.
I want t0 be His, owned, loved, preferred, cherished, His muse.
I want t0 not have t0 want this,
I want t0 be all this. T0 Him, my Sir.
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10
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Last Night's Debauchery~
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Posted:Sep 7, 2019 8:14 am
Last Updated:Nov 22, 2019 5:27 am
7250 Views
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Went t0 the downtown Ft. Lauderdale dungeon last night, ended up having a very intense scene from 9:ish until 1:00 am.
There was only ONE other couple there, and they left around midnight so we had the whole place t0 ourselves~ the DM let us have privacy was a kinky blessing in itself.
There was a lot of humiliation and anal , lots of impact and sharps too~
I was told i'm a good girl~ well of course, i'm always better when i'm being bad!
I was floaty for hours~ left there in a bit of a stupor~ aftercare was administered and was thorough ~ Thank you G.....
It's great to have a connection with the person you with, and after a couple of years we have really grown in our time. From strictly impact to sensual and humiliation-esque. Blushing seems to be a turn on for some~
Looking forward to tonights kinky fuckery~ my favorite space and 2 of my scene partners will be in attendance.
This girl may be unowned for almost 2 weeks now ~ but i have not skipped a beat in getting right back out there and having FUN!!
Let the Debauchery continue~
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3
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Hidden Accessory ~
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Posted:Sep 4, 2019 9:32 am
Last Updated:Sep 9, 2019 9:34 pm
7449 Views
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On Friday, just a few days after severing ties with m7 former Sir, i happened t0 come across m7 collar stashed at the bottom of m7 purse.
It was there so i could put it on at events i would attend without him, since i went t0 all events without him.
i also was a hidden accessory, ~ from his wife, almost like the hidden accessory in the bottom of m7 purse. Pushed away, never included, t0 be brought 0ut when it was time be shown and u5ed.
Friday i was co-hosting a "rump-roast", a spanko, or spanking party at the Dungeon (home away from home). In the midst of preparing for a skit i was performing in, i pulled the forgotten collar 0ut while looking for a hair clip.
Nonchalantly i held it up t0 the room full of people and smirked, "Anyone want a barely u5ed pretty collar?". T0 m7 surprise, a young new submissive jumped up and raised her hand, "I do!", she said with her eyes sparkling and hopeful. Taken by surprise, i brought it her, and told her i hope it brings you better luck and happiness.
As i walked back to m7 place, i was numb and in shock, something that meant so much suddenly meant absolutely nothing, Am i as disposable as that necklace/collar? Well, t0 m7 former Sir, yes i am. Discarded on a whim without discussion. Already being replaced for a cyber profile hidden from me to pursue other cyber profiles (amongst other issues, but this was the defining moment for me, especially considering he was pursuing a fake profile of a mutual enemy~ that's another Oprah show), using his new fake profile showing himself almost years younger, and SINGLE~
It seems the collar and I were both the pretty accessory and the trash 1n this relationship. Pretty and usable when convenient, and discarded when no longer wanted.
There is a saying, someone's trash is someone else's treasure.
How long does one have be someone's trash before she is someone's treasure again?
I've decided i don't like being a hidden accessory or discarded trash~
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5
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I use to think you took my breath away ~
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Posted:Aug 29, 2019 9:50 pm
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2019 2:42 am
7594 Views
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~ but I was just suffocated by your bullshit.
Finally was brave enough to remove my collar after a 2.5 year wasteful and neglectful long distance relationship.
If i have learned anything, i have learned that my future is NOT with a married man who lives more than 100 miles away (this case was 1000 miles away).
I have grown in the lifestyle over the past 2.5 years, not because of him, but in spite of him. Being plugged in to my BDSM community has beed rewarding and fun and educational, and everything i had hoped it would be.
Except for one thing ~ my "Sir" was never with me.
I know what i want now and i will not settle for less. I want a Sir that is mine and local, if not 24/7 at least for companionship and events. I don't need to be married again. I'm perfectly capable of doing this life divorced and dating, or divorced and a significant other (or s/o).
Today i am a warrior and i will not crawl to just anyone, He will be special, He will appreciate my gift, and i will honor him with my service.
In the meantime, i am enjoying my friendships, my play partners, and bottoming for scenes at events.
This is my new life ~ i'm exhaling ~ letting life take my breath away and fill me with fresh sweet air~
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