I shaved my balls for this?
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Posted:Apr 24, 2008 10:04 pm
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2008 9:27 pm
1395 Views
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Somewhat of an update while I work on some stuff:
In the past week:
I have shaved my balls
Gazed lustfully at individuals on this site (Pixxx, Muah, ect. Wow.. they have spectacular bodies. Thank god neither of them are easily offended... Talk about kinky fantasies.)
Continued my flirtation
Had my mother go into the hospital for a spinal surgery. She is out and recovering at home. YAY!
Covered for my best friend when his wife had to go to the emergancy room. (True story! His infant is the second coming of the Chuck. On top of headbutting his mother in the jaw, this NOT EVEN A YEAR OLD has already taken out 4 other adults!!)
Recieved a couple of VERY anughty emails at work...GOD I love those... make things a little distracting though. Anyone else felt the overwhelming urge to get off during work?? This is why I need a live in girlfriend. Simply put...Kinky wild office sex has been on my mind pretty much constantly.
(as a side note... this is leading me to believe that it has been WAAAAY to long since I have gotten any. Over a year anyone?)
Given how frustrating this past week has been...I have to wonder:
"I shaved my balls for this???"
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LOL
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Posted:Apr 23, 2008 10:04 pm
Last Updated:May 30, 2024 7:26 am
1171 Views
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Myspace has an app out where you can buy your friends.
LOL... I've bought a couple people I have met from here.
I OWN YOU!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAH
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The Application
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Posted:Apr 17, 2008 10:58 am
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2009 11:08 pm
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Ladies, I have been thinking. Life would be a lot easier if relationships were like jobs. To such ends, I have decided to publish an application for my 'potential' flirts to answer. Gentlemen, if you want... you can steal this application and edit it for your own needs.
Flirtation Application
Name/Nomen:
Age:
Sexuality:
Language(s) Spoken:
Reason for expressing interest:
Special Skills or Knowledges for consideration:
Position sought:
Do you have submissive tendancies?[/I}:
What is your stated goal for this position:
How do you feel about Public Displays of Affection:
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your ability to express yourself:
Please briefly state your opinion on cuddling
After I have had a rough day at work, what is the proper way to cheer me up... please use your own ideas... and details :
Give an example of your kinky side:
Please state what you feel is your best feature:
Please provide an example of your teasing skill:
Please describe how you handle stress:
Are you willing to handle 'shift' work?:
Thank you for expressing an interest in Dave-Mart(tm). We will consider your application and inform you shortly of our decision.
The Management.
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Healthy Living Tips for Ninjas
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Posted:Apr 15, 2008 5:54 am
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2008 9:28 pm
1376 Views
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This is a buddy of mine's (Josh) post. I loved it, so I am blatently stealing it!
- Exercise is important, but jogging is for wimps. Plenty of exercise can be had leaping from bushes and kicking joggers in the head.
- Laughter is medicine. Ninjas practice the art of inappropriate laughter. Laughing when hearing about cancer also shows the Ninja's strength.
- Ninjas occasionally, without warning, stab friends with throwing stars. Life is random. Ninjas embrace this fact of life.
- Killing the wrong person happens. Ninjas know this. It's useless to live in the past.
- Fiber in your diet is important. Ninjas eat the shirt off of a complete stranger's back at least once a week.
- Sex is extremely important to one's physical and mental health. Ninjas therefore fantasize about about sex two, three, maybe seven times a day.
- Everyone knows yoga classes are filled with women. Ninjas prove their strength and impress the ladies by killing the yoga instructor.
- Samurais are the source of much stress for Ninjas. They think they're soooooo cool with their armor and swords and those awesome helmets. It's in a Ninjas best interest not to think about such things.
- A strong handshake is a sign of good health and vigorous character, Ninjas therefore squeeze as tightly as possible and do not let go when shaking hands. Strong eye contact is also recommended.
- When eating the still beating heart of an enemy, Ninjas eat it all. There are starving Ninjas in Africa who don't have any hearts to eat.
- Cleanliness is next to Godliness. If Ninjas get ketchup stains on their outfits whilst eating out, they throw smoke pellets and disappear. Later, outside their den, they burn their outfits while screaming uncontrollably at the top of their lungs.
- Mind Control is one of the Ninjas most powerful skills. Making small give you money is not only hilarious, but quite lucrative, and therefore, healthy.
- It's good for Ninjas to treat themselves to Western pleasures occasionally. That's why there's nothing wrong with putting on a comfortable Ninja outfit, lighting some candles, and watching "Ninja Vixens: Virgin Nightmares".
- It is important for Ninjas not to be their own worst enemy. Therefore, Ninjas should be sure to practice proper dental care before wearing a face mask.
- Secrecy is of upmost inportance to the Ninjas peace of mind. Not even the Ninjas' parents can know their identities. Not even if a Ninja still lives in the basement of his parents' house.
- Ninjas always ride shotgun. It's good for their sense of self worth. If Ninjas are forced to sit in the back seat, remember they always carry garrotes.
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I probably shouldn't be complaining... but
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Posted:Apr 11, 2008 7:50 am
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2008 8:52 pm
1257 Views
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I have one serious issue with TSmeet. Actually, I have a serious issue with the internet.
See, I have this really weird kink.
I like seeing a woman's face.
Call me an odd duck, but, that is something that really seals the deal for me.
There is something about a woman's face that just ... I can't say turns me on. I guess the best way to say it is... Seeing a woman's face makes her more "real" to me. It allows me to see her as a human being instead of a shell of flesh for me to design a fantasy around. I understand the desire to protect your identity... but still...
Not that I have a problem with the Leg, Butt, and Boob pictures that appear on here in abundance. Good heavens no! There are some magnificant bodies that happen to grace my blog with their presences. I dont want to name any names... but ... it shouldn't be that hard to figure out... especially since every woman who comments in my blog is gorgeous. And no ladies, I am not just saying that. Almost any guy will agree with me on that.
So, as a humble request... I want to see your faces ladies. I'll make this one private also...
Happy Faces, Sad Faces, Pouty Faces, Excited Faces, Silly Faces... whatever... Let that little bit of extra .. YOU show through.
-Pax
D
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A Mixed Bag
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Posted:Apr 9, 2008 6:15 am
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2008 8:54 pm
1354 Views
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This past week has been a real mixed bag of things for me. By and large, it has been a good run of time… but there are a few elements to it that give me a bit of cause for concern.
Almost all of the issues I am currently dealing with are focused around a woman of some sort.
It started when a friend of mine (Josh) started putting some rather… cryptic… items on his blog. Normally Josh is probably the most happy-go-lucky person I know. These blogs had a very dark element to them. Phrases like ‘crisis’, ‘emotional distress’, and ‘sorrow’ were frequent. For someone who, as long as I have known him, has been the first person to laugh at any situation, this caused me a bit of concern. I tried to get a hold of him for a couple of days with no luck…which did nothing to soothe my sense of worry. Finally I got a text from him telling me that he was..”about to go through the crucible. But I’m confident that I make it to the other side…”
Ok… so I have gotten to communicate with him… got the details. Apparently he had allowed himself to get WAY too attached to a 19yr old. See, here is the thing with younger women that I have learned… they are either mature enough to handle a relationship… or they are still little more than . Apparently, for all the cuteness, fun, and light that this girl was… she still was nothing more than an old . He (and this is my opinion) made the mistake of trying to put more into the situation than there was….and she got flaky. Talked to him… and he is doing much better. In fact, I got him to laugh and joke around with me. He’s still (in my opinion) got a bit of healing to do, but I think he is going to be better… quite soon.
(as a side note: Ladies, have you ever wanted your own military man? My buddy Josh is an NCO in the USAF… currently stationed in NJ. He’s one of the true “Good Guys” out there… guaranteed to make you smile and laugh. Plus, he’ll treat you like a princess! Forward all inquiries to me.)
Another one of my good friends, named Drew, is just getting tired of his current fuck buddy. After having heard the tales… I can assure you I understand why. *shudder*
I am going to leave this one alone.
Also had a ‘talk’ with my current flirtation. Told her that I am starting to get into her… and that while I am not trying to make something out of nothing… I would like to see how far we can take things. Currently, she has the bulk (99.97528 of my ‘attention’ (if you know what I mean). Got me a little nervous. Her response...was that she likes what she has seen of me… and wants to get to know me better. I’m the only guy that she is interested in… and that she thinks that we could have something… as long as we are patient and take the time. Given everything… I think that is possibly the best news that could come out of it. Excuse me while I grin stupidly 
As it sits right now, it is JUST a flirtation… but I am getting what I want and need out of it. I am getting the attention of a beautiful young woman who is interested in me… and I am the only one she is interested in.
Here are the surprising things about my current flirtation:
1) She’s a LDR. IknowIknow. I’ve sworn off on anyone that I can’t get face to face with. Thing is, when I have offered to make arrangements to visit, or have her visit me… it was met with (surprisingly) INTEREST. This is in direct conflict with some of the other LDRs that I have dealt with… who just wanted to keep me as ‘The Guy in Texas/South Carolina/Japan/Texas that I am talking to’
2)She’s a member of A.F.F. I am the first person to admit that on the romantic/physical aspect… I have had less than 0 luck from TSmeet. I have met some brilliantly wonderful people (and you all know who you are!)
3)She is a significantly younger woman. I do mean significantly. I do like younger women. I am totally cool with telling people that. Heck, all you have to do is read a bit of my blog to see my adoration of one Miss Muahluv. (if you haven’t checked her out… do it! Good Lord! I don’t know what is more amazing about that girl… her smile… her body… her sex drive…her mind… or her personality! ) Actually, Muah is a fairly good comparison for my current flirtation. Physically… not so much. The Flirtation is ‘throw me around the bedroom’ petite. Very delicately formed. Muah, on the other hand… that girl is all curves… beautiful, wonderful curves. Where they are both similar is that they are both extremely playful, yet mature younger women who have the power within them to make the world light up for whoever is the object of their attention. Muah is a little more… blatant with her sexuality… the flirtation is trying to be a tease about it. I am going to have to work with her. She has yet to master the fact that I am at work at 0200Z… and that is the perfect time to send me highly distracting emails and or text messages. Every good tease should know how to tern the object of her game into mush… right when he least needs to be mushy!
There has been one other piece of news that I have gotten recently. This is the part that has me really kinda confused.
See, in talking to Drew and Josh… I managed to get some information about Ben and Annie (for those of you who don’t know… that is my ex and my ex friend who hooked up while I was dating her… bah… just read Set Me Free ). See, they are scheduled to get married this October. According to Drew, Ben isn’t going to be in as good a financial situation as he thought he was going to be… and Annie is having some serious second thoughts. From Josh I am getting that Ben is getting out of the military… and he has 4 years left on his contract. Apparently he has also ‘turned in his wings’ (he was a AF flyer… turning in your wings means you cant fly as part of a crew anymore)… furthermore… he (to quote Josh) “looks like he is dying”.
I feel bad… I really do. Not because they are going through this though. I feel bad because, when I heard this, I LAUGHED. I don’t mean a little giggle… I mean a full body laugh. I at least had the dignity to not laugh while I was directly talking to either Drew or Josh. Drew is still trying to be friends with Ben (even though Ben told him pretty expressly to leave him alone. I have my theories why). Josh has to deal with Ben (they work on the same base.) I know that Josh would at least appreciate it. He’s been on my side since day one. Still…
I guess my problem is this: I do feel that Ben and Annie deserve a Karmic Bitch Slap. I mean, when you boil it down to it… they took away 6 months of my life. Still, I am free of them and I don’t want to be tied to them through this negative karma. That, and to be honest with you, I don’t want Ben to do something stupid. Annie, is an Attention Seeking (to quote Drew) and will always be willing to drop whoever she is with to be with the next person who pays attention to her. I guess this is a side effect of her being a kinda chubby and . She feels the need to be wanted. Also, to be more than a little blunt, she is incredibly stupid (for a 27 yr old with a MD.). Case in point, when she and I were having ‘problems’… she would have on her MySpace page (as the quote/status thing) “~Annie~ is wishing things could be different”. As my dad use to say, you can wish in one hand, and shit in the other. Guess which one fills up faster. I know from personal experience that she will him and haw around a problem… until someone or something sweeps her off her feet. Ben, on the other hand, tends to get rather confrontational… and then extremely morose (if he cant be violent… he gets sad…and tries to guilt his way into what he wants). Thing is, when Annie finally decideds to run away… she runs away (usually into the arms of whoever is sweeping her off her feet at the time)… until that goes south. When that happens, she’ll run back to her long distance confidence builder. Again, I know this is how she operates, because I was the Long Distance Confidence Builder. If and when she doesn’t have one of those, she is kinda lost… and has a tendency to abuse things like sleeping pills and alcohol…That was how I was suckered back in after she left me the second time… “Dave, she needs you. She’s destroying herself.”
Normally, Ben, I think, would be able to get over just one of the issues he is facing. With the separation from the Air Force, the potential relationship failing, I think, in all honesty, that he is going to break…and I feel rather… happy with that. I also feel strangely content to think that Annie is on a self destructive path.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what scares the ever-loving piss out of me. I don’t like the thought of having become so callous to the suffering of others…even those that have hurt me as badly as those to ass-hats have. I also don’t want to have on my conscious either of them doing something terminally stupid to themselves. That would seriously screw up my feng shui. Right now is as good as it has been for me in a while… and I don’t want something to come along and fuck it up. Still, I am dealing with the inner conflict that is arising from the pleasure I feel… and the … concern(?) about the terminally stupid option either one of them could take.
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a funny
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Posted:Apr 8, 2008 8:44 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2008 5:41 am
1261 Views
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The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'
'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?' 'Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.
Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing. I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago there wasn't any electric fence.'
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The Jester Manifester
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Posted:Apr 7, 2008 6:00 am
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2009 11:03 pm
1353 Views
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I am sure that there are those amongst you who are wondering:
“How can I have a better life than I currently have?”
Its really a simple process:
1) Find someone who has a lifestyle that is significantly superior to yours
2) Learn everything you can about them
3) Steal their lives.
Since this will bring you nowhere closer to living your life like I do (and quite possibly placing you in the path of several felonies)… I would then suggest the following items:
-Wear Sunscreen. Given today’s environment, Sunscreen is necessary. This is the one absolute I have found. The rest of this is based solely on my own, rambling experiences.
-Read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. All 5 books of the trilogy. Be thankful you aren’t Marvin.
-Make your own collection of ‘make-out music’. Have some Barry and Marvin on there… but don’t forget someone like Sarah McLaughlin. All I have to say is imagine where Sweet Surrender can take the two of you.
-Tell the people who are the most important to you that you love them. You never know when you won’t have another chance to.
-Learn to cook.
-Do something, once in your life, that scares the ever-loving piss out of you. Believe me, you’ll need it.
-Learn to laugh at yourself. Everyone else has learned to laugh at you, why not join in on the fun?
-Be nice to Vets. Chances are that they have seen some amazing things, and done even more amazing things. Ask them about them. You won’t be disappointed.
-Randomly do something kind…for no reason.
-Take the Red Pill
-Become an Otaku. Find something that you enjoy and throw yourself into it totally.
-Take the time to look at pretty girls. If you don’t know any, I’ll point you in the direction of the ones I enjoy staring at.
-Be sure to read Dr. King’s “I have a dream” speech. Try to live up to the dream.
-Dance. Even if it is only a drunken approximation of a seizure.
-Tip Well.
-Get some culture. Go see a ballet or a musical. Besides… Ballerinas are BENDY!
-Wear clean underwear
-Let your inner out to play. If you don’t do so on occasion… he’ll run away.
-Stick your head into the clouds. You never know what is up there.
-Invest in Hershey’s kisses. You never know when you might need ‘em.
-Wear nice clothes
-If she says, “Life’s a bitch, and so am I”, believe her.
-Smile
-Never go to bed mad at the person who shares the bed with you.
-Treat yourself on occasion
-Fuck a petite woman at least once… just totally throw her around the bedroom. Bodyslam her onto the bed, Pull her hair, cover her, make her moan, and have her YOUR way. (or if you are a woman… get thrown around the bedroom at least once)
-sleep naked
-get a foot massage
-Buy more socks than you will need. Leave a pair in your car for rainy days
-Invest in your future… but invest more in your own happiness.
-Learn at least ONE cheesy pickup line in another language.
-Keep track of your pants. That is more important than it sounds.
-Make one thing you have to do daily be enjoyable.
-Everything is subjective… but trust me on the sunscreen
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Lets talk about sex, Baybee!
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Posted:Apr 4, 2008 11:00 pm
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2008 6:31 am
1477 Views
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Wow, I know. I bit off a big one when I decided to write this particular blog. I've been thinking about this one for a while now. In fact, it came into mind right while I was writing the one about defining sexy.
Just like with Sexy... I don't think there is one definition of what GOOD sex is. Think about it for a minute. Good sex. Sure you have an idea... we all do... but! There is no one thing that defines GOOD sex.
I apologize in advance for calling some people out in this blog, but I am going to use you as examples.
Muahluv: Anyone who reads her blog knows she likes sex a little on the rough side. Hair pulling, ass smaking, pound-her-into-submission sex. Most men will go: "ALRIGHT!" Plus, she is also a grand master (mistress?) of the art of blowjob. Down boys. That, to be honest with you, is pretty outstanding. Couple that with her...love of showing off (for lack of the ability to spell the proper term at this time).. and it personally leads me to believe that she has more than a touch of submissive in her.
Crazy Yeah, I know you are still out there!) is at a point in her life where she is more inclined to the fuck buddy. Now, most of you are going to tell me that the fuck buddy isn't really a type of sex, but I'll argue with you. In a lot of ways, fuck buddies are the purest form of sex...at least to me. There is nothing deeper between the two of you than just a good time. It's fucking for the sake of fucking... and nothing else.
Siren: Uhm, network pics? She tends to play a little more with the fantasy and roleplay aspect. Little schoolgirl? Yeah... she's done it. Playboy bunny... been there too. I'm still waiting for her to do some of the other costumes I saw in Japan. LORDY, they would love her there.
Now, there is a reason I called these three women out. Actually, there are a couple reasons. One, I know all three of them read this blog...so I can say HI! Seriously. I called them out like that so they can correct me. Another reason is that I know a little bit about their likes and dislikes. I've had the pleasure of talking to all three of these wonderful women.
The main reason though, is that even though they do mesh up with me well on certain levels, I have other wants. I wanted to illustrate that.
Do I like rough sex? Hell yes! Sign me up for that after a bad day at work. You know what I am talking about! There is nothing (in my slightly deluded mind at least) better than working out all those negative emotions and energy through a pleasureable and positive avenue like sex. Walk in the door, growl at her... rip her panties down... push her down... take her....possess her...
There are other times though, that I just want to explore her body. I've been known to spend hours just kissing and touching a woman's skin... for the sake of becomming intimately familiar with her smell, taste, feel, and where her little 'turn on' buttons are. There is also something to be said for taking your time guys (and gals). From penetration to Ejaculation takes between 7-8 minutes...usually. That isn't much time, is it? You will probably spend that much time reading this blog. Do you feel any special connection to me? There are times when building the connection to your partner is more important than orgasm (GASP!).
I'm not going to talk about Blowjobs. I really can't eb the judge of it. I've never had a good one. I guess a lot of it has to do with the attitude she took down there. All the women I have gotten one from treat the act like it was a burden to them. Hard for me to enjoy something that isn't pleasureable for her. That alone is why I still think Muah would blow my mind if I was ever that lucky.
Fuck buddies. At least for me, they are kinda like an afternoon snack. Nothing wrong with them. They can tide you over during those times that you aren't getting it regularly in a relationship. Hangup I have is this: if the person is a fuck buddy, that means they aren't relationship material. I know my fuck buddy wasn't. Was she a good lay? YEAH. It was just that she wasn't someone I could see being with for anything other than sex. Again, at that point in my life... that is all I wanted... and that is all she wanted.
Fantasy and Roleplay: I am firmly convinced that this is extremely important to a sexual relationship. No matter how gorgeous the woman is... or how skilled she is... eventually even buck wild monkey sex is going to get boring after a bit. Fantasy and roleplay let you spice it up... just enough to keep it fresh... and fun. When sex becomes boring... that is the time to get out.
I am not trying to insult anyone. I just am pretty sure of what I want. I want the wild, but I also want the gentle. Believe me, it is possible to make a woman scream in pleasure... without ever taking your pants off guys. I've looked at my own penis... and sometimes I laugh. It is the single most ridiculous piece of flesh on me....and I am proud of the little fellow!
I guess, at least for me... good sex is with a partner that I know...someone that I can respond to and who can respond to me. I don't want to have to tell her what to do... I want her to be able to figure it out... and be happy about doing it... because I am going to be happy about returning the favor.
I also know I want a vocal gal. Someone who is going to moan and writhe... and maybe even scream. Dammit, lemme know if I am doing a good job hun... I don't know the sensations you are experiencing.
She also needs to be clean. While I prefer a shaved mound, that isnt what I am talking about. Today, sex is almost like playing Russian Roulette. Fellows, don't use your dipstick if you don't know how often her oil's been checked. In a lot of states, if you are HIV positive and you fail to disclose that to your partner... you are facing a felony. Unless you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that the girl is clean... and you are clean... wrap that shit up. Don't send Johnny into the typhoon without a raincoat. I don't care if it doesnt feel as good (because, it doesnt. I don't know what the difference for a woman is.. but for a guy.. its like wearing a damn glove.), because even if bareback could be better... be safer. I would rather have several encounters that were just incredbible than one mind blowing one that serves me up with a case of the drippy dicks.
Alright, I've spilled a bit. Now I want to hear from you. What, to you, makes good sex? Does a particular position make you get off harder? Do you like to talk dirty? Do you like to have someone talk dirty to you? Do you like to spank or be spanked? Tell me..
D
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Acronyms
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Posted:Apr 2, 2008 5:47 am
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2008 3:38 am
1216 Views
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Having been in the military, I have become use to using acronyms instead of words… or even sentences.
Some of those acronyms have entered into the modern vernacular (such as FUBAR). I wonder what life would be like if EVERYTHING was an acronym.
Here are some of the things running through my mind:
PENIS
Primary Erection Normal , Increase Speed
Please Exclude Nominal Incisor Scraping
Peak Excitement Needs Induced Stimulation
Power Evident! Nothing Is Superior
Problem Evokes Non Intelligent Support
Promise Exceeds Naturally Implied Specifications
BLOG
Britany Leave Orientals Gaga
Buy Less Overpriced Gas
Be Less Obstinate Guys!
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Some of the Conversations I have had
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Posted:Apr 1, 2008 6:00 pm
Last Updated:May 30, 2024 7:26 am
1207 Views
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Within this past month, I have engaged in some... interesting... conversations.
Here is just a smattering of the conversations I have had:
Good--Being flirted with by a beautiful woman. I you not! I'm still trying to figure this one out. Until I do, I think I am just going to smile... A LOT.
Bad-- Trying to explain to my boss (who is a good guy, but hold tightly to the company line) why a new program that the company is rolling out will not work.
Strange--Trying to figure out if my circle of friends at work and I are Jedi or Sith Lords. (Yeah... we're Star Wars Geeks!). Well actually that conversation took all of 2.7 seconds. The rest of the evening was spent trying to figure out our Sith names. I am Dath Whalus. That name is spawned from an evening in Charleston ... got me a month of free drinking.
Disconcerting-- Being talked to by a friend.. who asked me to talk to her boyfriend to a) explain why I am so not a threat to their relationship. b) The effects of anti-depressants on a person's sex drive. I swear I know more about her sex life than I really have any right to.
Strange-- Just walking up to one of my coworkers and whispering "monkey" repeatedly in her ears. Not REALLY a conversation... but a lot of fun
Extremely Strange--Debating the merits of a pantsless workplace.
Strange--defending my lighter... which DOES NOT double as a dildo.
Erotic: Explaining to my most recent flirtation my fantasy about a girl in one of my dress shirts. How I would slowly unbutton each button and caress her skin with my lips... tasting sweat that would start to form on her skin... listening to the moaning...doing everything in my power to make her writhe... driving her crazy without ever taking off my pants.
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The Crucible(s)
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Posted:Mar 29, 2008 3:47 pm
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2009 11:05 pm
1466 Views
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Everyone has at least one moment that changes their life, be it for weal or woe. I, have had several choices and moments that have made me into the person that I am. This is one of those tales.
When I was 24, my life was going absolutely nowhere. I had a dead end job, and I was just going to college to keep myself amused. Somewhere between 18 and 24 along the road from Abilene to Houston, I lost my purpose. I had thought about getting married. I had even bought the ring... but that is a sob story for another day.
Needless to say, I was in position to cease living, and merely exist on this planet. I was about to become that thing that I fear most in this world: someone who just consumes oxygen. I had stooped so low that I had even moved back home to live with my parents.
So, there I was. 24 years old, living at home, and having no real direction or plan to be anything more than what I was...and looking looking at being like that alone for the rest of my life.
My father, bless his soul, laid an ultimatum on me... either completly turn my life around in one month, or I was out the door (with the understanding I would never be welcome back). I know this decision killed him to make. I mean, I am his , and by an extention, someone who contains the absolute best he could possibly give anyone. My mother stood by him in this decision.
So there I was: for all intents and purposes unemployed (anyone who has ever had a shitty dead end job knows what I mean by that), and about to be homeless. I had always promised (threatened?) myself that if all else failed, I would join the military. Throughout my life, I had been told that that was the one thing I couldn't do. I was too soft, to weak to make it in even the Air Force. Still, I didn't have much other option, and I found myself flipping through the phone book to find the recruiter's number. 15 minutes later, I had an appointment with a recruiter for the USAF.
I can't tell you what the cause was. Maybe it was the look of hopeless desperation on my face when I went in. Maybe it was the quota (but I doubt it...my recruiter always made his quota plus!). Maybe it was just good luck. Whatever it was, I found myself on a fast track to MEPS. They even asked me how long I was willing to enlist for. I told them 6 years. For some reason they asked me why. My answer, I will never forget:
"I don't have anything better to do for the next 6 years."
So I end up at Lackland AFB on 3 Nov 1999. Have you ever noticed how anger is one of the best motivators? One of our assisstant TIs, I hated him. SrA Dourighty. I was his personal little abuse bitch. I 'Jacked' everything up. I am honestly suprised he didn't at some point, tell me that I was jacking up breathing. It felt like he wanted to do nothing more than crush me... and he almost did.
I was laying in my bunk one night, before my first shit (anyone who has been through basic will understand this time reference), when I realized what was going on. He wanted to break me. That would give him pleasure. Why should I give someone that kind of satisfaction? I was going to bust my ass to make sure that there was
NOTHING about me that he could claim was 'jacked up'.
From the next morning on, I was the first one up. The first one done with my duties. I worked harder than everyone else, and every time I thought I was going to break... all it took was one glance over at him and his smug shit eating grin to know that he was just WAITING for me to give up....to lose my cool... to break.
I missed top grad by 35 seconds on my mile and a half run.
The day I gradded... HE was in our barraks doing the final paperwork. He signed mine off, and I found myself in front of him for the last time. There was only one thing I could say to him:
"Thank you"
That was the first time he ever looked even slightly off kilter during Basic. Everyone in my flight thought I had lost my mind. He asked me why I said that to him.
"Sir, in all due respect, the only reason I made it through was because I hated you so much that I didn't want to give you the pleasure of breaking me."
His Response?
"Good. I did my job then."
I did 6 years in the Air Force. I was responsible for aircraft that not only were worth more money than I can wrap my mind around, but were vital for National security. I walked into that 6 year commitment with no will, no spine, and only a vague idea of what I wanted to do with my life. At the end of it... well... you know the person who came out of it.
Thank you for reading one of my Crucibles. I offer this small snapshot of my life for your viewing pleasure, that you may know me better. I ask, in turn, that you share one of your Crucibles with me. Tell me of one of your highest highs, or one of your lowest lows. It could be a story of finding true love. It could be a story of heartache. Personal Courage, personal terror. Whatever it is, as long as it changed you, I want to hear it. I promise you, no comment will be posted without your express consent.
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A tale of two IMs
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Posted:Mar 27, 2008 10:34 pm
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2008 9:30 pm
1497 Views
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I make no secrets of the fact that I like to talk to people. Online is a preferred method for me at least of at the beginning of a communication style.
To make this easier, I have added my screen names on this account, so friends can make contact with me without having to go through TSmeet's wonderful email rigamarole.
(and as a random question... is rigamarole still a word?)
Over the past week, I have had 2 IMs that really stood out for very different reasons.
The first one, obviously, is a scam. The individual in question is from this site and claims to be a person from Houston. Normally, that would register as an: "Ok, cool!", but there were things on this that didn't quite sync up. First of all, she claims to be on this site seeking a husband... and that I was picked because I am so 'Gentle'. Now, I admit that one of the traits most easily recognized in your friendly neighborhood Dave is the fact that he is too nice for his own good, but that usually takes at least talking to me. Secondly, when I asked her for a phone number, she provided a 234 number. If you didn't know, that would be the country code for Nigeria. Yes, that Nigeria...land of the million scams. (if you are really interested, you can call 011-234-XXX-XXX-XXXX and speak to someone there). The third clue was the big one for me. Most of you don't know that I work for a company that has international dealings. Bullshit, we do business on all 7 continents. I know what a non-native English speaker's written communication looks like. It would be like me trying to talk to a gal in Tokyo in Japanese... very clumsy.
My question on this individual is what should I do about her?
The second IM was from a gal who was in the US. True, she is not local to me... but there is just something about her that has really knocked a lot of the bitterness from my past posts out of me. She's an absolute sweetheart, and as playful and frisky as they come. To say that I am impressed and attracted to her is one of the understatements of the year. From what I get from her, the feeling is mutual. Now, since we are still rather new to one another, I am still in the "loving the ride" mode. It is a great feeling to have someone interested in me again, and to be interested in that person as well. We have talked daily...and even that...at times doesn't seem like enough. I am really interested in seeing what can happen.
My question for you all about her is, what should I do about her?
D
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