Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou
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Posted:Jul 22, 2011 5:58 pm
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2012 11:57 am
3635 Views
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Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
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Alone By Maya Angelou
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Posted:Jun 14, 2011 10:25 pm
Last Updated:Jul 22, 2011 6:37 pm
4082 Views
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Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
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My Nanny The Tranny...An Original By Puddles
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Posted:May 31, 2011 1:07 pm
Last Updated:Jun 24, 2011 8:32 pm
4272 Views
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My Mom and Dad didn't like much you see.
So this is why I had a hired hand take care of me.
But there was one problem with this plan,
well my dad is a man and had been very bad.
Finally my mom had enough of his roaming prick,
and swore the next nanny she hires will have a dick.
The interview went well,
my mother thought she was swell.
See when my mom dropped her pen,
she got a peek under the nannies seat.
What did she see? The Nanny had a huge pee-pee!
This sight made momma smile ear to ear,
because she knew this was one nanny dad wouldn't get near.
And it was because of that thought,
Mommy hired her on the spot!
Mrs. Doubtfire she was not.
This babysitter was really sexy and hot!
I have always envied the she-males with full lips and asses,
and she also had long legs and lashes.
I suspected it, then I realized it was true...
The Nanny was a Tranny and everyone but dad knew.
Then one day it finally happened,
it woke me while I was nappin.
I heard daddy scream and yell,
"What the hell you are a male?!"
while I just lay and laughin! 
Still to this day when we mention the Nanny's name,
he shrugs to hide his shame.
And ever since he has never been the same.
That is the story of how my mommy won at his game.
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Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
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Posted:May 30, 2011 7:36 am
Last Updated:May 31, 2011 11:30 am
4302 Views
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The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
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A Boy Named Sue By Shel Silverstein (No Johnny did not write it!)
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Posted:May 28, 2011 7:26 am
Last Updated:May 31, 2011 11:36 am
4147 Views
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Well, my daddy left home when I was three,
and he didn't leave much to Ma and me,
just this old guitar and a bottle of booze.
Now I don't blame him because he run and hid,
but the meanest thing that he ever did was
before he left he went and named me Sue.
Well, he must have thought it was quite a joke,
and it got lots of laughs from a lot of folks,
it seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
and some guy would laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell you, life ain't easy for a boy named Sue.
Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean.
My fist got hard and my wits got keen.
Roamed from town to town to hide my shame,
but I made me a vow to the moon and the stars,
I'd search the honky tonks and bars and kill
that man that gave me that awful name.
But it was Gatlinburg in mid July and I had
just hit town and my throat was dry.
I'd thought i'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon in a street of mud
and at a table dealing stud sat the dirty,
mangy that named me Sue.
Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
from a worn-out picture that my mother had
and I knew the scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old
and I looked at him and my blood ran cold,
and I said, "My name is Sue. How do you do?
Now you're gonna die." Yeah, that's what I told him.
Well, I hit him right between the eyes and he went down
but to my surprise he came up with a knife
and cut off a piece of my ear. But I busted a chair
right across his teeth. And we crashed through
the wall and into the street kicking and a-gouging
in the mud and the blood and the beer.
I tell you I've fought tougher men but I really can't remember when.
He kicked like a mule and bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laughin' and then I heard him cussin',
he went for his gun and I pulled mine first.
He stood there looking at me and I saw him smile.
And he said, ", this world is rough and if
a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
and I knew I wouldn't be there to help you along.
So I gave you that name and I said 'Goodbye'.
I knew you'd have to get tough or die. And it's
that name that helped to make you strong."
Yeah, he said, "Now you have just fought one
helluva fight, and I know you hate me and you've
got the right to kill me now and I wouldn't blame you
if you do. But you ought to thank me
before I die for the gravel in your guts and the spit
in your eye because I'm the nut that named you Sue."
Yeah, what could I do? What could I do?
I got all choked up and I threw down my gun,
called him pa and he called me a ,
and I came away with a different point of view
and I think about him now and then.
Every time I tried, every time I win and if I
ever have a I think I am gonna name him
Bill or George - anything but Sue.
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What a Gal!!!!
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Posted:May 27, 2011 7:57 pm
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2011 8:31 pm
4368 Views
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The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.
But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?"
''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy
territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?
"Stay the Hell away from Mommy when she's been drinking."
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Cuddles for Puddles
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Posted:May 27, 2011 3:24 pm
Last Updated:May 28, 2011 8:09 am
4053 Views
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I received this poem from Simony217 and I enjoyed it so much! I hope you don't mind me putting it in my blog Simon?!
Puddles are but little pools
Sometimes hot, sometimes cool
But who is the Puddles of this site?
Is she the Puddles of the night?
Puddles, darling, you turn me on
You are a class act, certainly not porn
If I tell you about my Rhyming blog?
It's of feelings and memories to jog
Someday, let's get together for a huddle
For Simon from Singapore and you, Puddles
Simon
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The Man An Original by Puddles
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Posted:May 27, 2011 3:17 pm
Last Updated:Jun 7, 2011 6:34 pm
4258 Views
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I met a fellow,
dark hair and eyes so hollow.
He is very shallow
spoke only his need.
A dirty little secret indeed
and filled with wicked greed.
Lover he was not
but the sex was simply hot.
I got a good ream,
he filled me with cream,
and better than wildest dream.
He would also agree
I suck a good cock.
He did come four times you see
when I was on knees.
Naughty things he said
while I was giving him head,
they turned me on so.
Twas thrown upon bed,
he kissed and licked my derriere.
My screams filled the air
while naked and bare.
We finished it with a kiss.
That man I'm gonna miss!
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Leather and Lace... An Original by Puddles
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Posted:May 27, 2011 2:53 pm
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2011 10:54 am
4097 Views
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With His whips and chains,
I would cum over again
with pleasure and pain.
My lace, His leather
He makes My pale skin redder,
none does this better.
I am yours to use.
Freely your sexual muse
ready for abuse.
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Puddles' Porno Poetry
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Posted:May 27, 2011 1:13 pm
Last Updated:Jul 2, 2011 7:41 pm
4052 Views
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I just wanted to comment on TSmeet's porno poetry contest...and I think it is a fun idea. Since the act of sex is a creative expression of ones self it only makes sense to have a poetry contest about it. Thanks TSmeet for all the good times!
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