The Other Foot
|
Posted:Nov 10, 2011 6:01 pm
Last Updated:Jul 13, 2019 4:39 am
2380 Views
|
I was on the phone with my old friend, Platonic Traveling Companion, who's hanging out in Arvada these days, and she was giving me living hell over all the crap that I let the recently departed flatmate put me through. When she was done I asked what she was doing this weekend, and she said she was going to visit her ex, the one who the police hauled away after he held her with an AK-47 to her head for an hour or so.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Restraints
|
Posted:Nov 8, 2011 3:00 pm
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 7:16 am
1740 Views
|
Had to call the police over twice last night, and I guess they finally got the point and woke up a judge to get an emergency restraining order against the old flatmate. This morning I went to court and made it temporary. (Making it permanent takes longer.)
I assume she'll be wanting to come get the rest of her stuff, such as her puppy, and her Mom's ashes.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
The Hitch
|
Posted:Nov 6, 2011 1:06 pm
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2011 2:52 pm
2099 Views
|
Might not have mentioned here that I ran into my old flatmate the Catwoman the other afternoon, as I was walking home from work. I was walking home from work at the time, so that's not a good sign. She said she's still working on getting a ride so she can get all her crap out of my apartment, as well as on getting a place to put it.
She called yesterday asking if she could get a ride. Since my flatmate's rental is the only vehicle in the household right now, I said it wasn't bloody likely.
My flatmate asked who I'd been talking to. She said to call her and ask where she needed a ride too, because she'd been there herself.
"But if it's to Pueblo, no dice," she added.
I called back the Catwoman and asked where she needed a ride to.
"Pueblo."
What were the odds.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Fortune Smiles
|
Posted:Nov 4, 2011 5:43 am
Last Updated:Aug 19, 2019 2:27 pm
2238 Views
|
My flatmate got hit with a double whammy of good luck: The other driver's insurance company is cutting her a check for $1458 in repairs for a car she only paid $1500 for; and it looks like she won't get any jail time over her scooter mishap in May. On the other hand, she lost her waitressing job, but she'll look at that as a vacation until after her final court date next Thursday. (The restaurant she was working at, in an old hotel that's mostly home to a bunch of seniors, wasn't a gold mine of tips anyway.)
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Second Thoughts, Perhaps
|
Posted:Nov 1, 2011 5:02 pm
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 7:16 am
2165 Views
|
The flatmate was boasting of her latest boyfriend, who has a good job that he works hard at, every day. Well, sure, he's homeless, kind of, because his ex kicked him out, and he's been staying at his boss's house and has all his stuff in his car, but you can't have everything, can you? She kept bandying about the idea of this guy moving in, even.
That was before she sent him out one morning to get a pack of cigarettes and a sausage biscuit and he disappeared with her money.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Distracted
|
Posted:Oct 31, 2011 8:55 pm
Last Updated:Jul 13, 2019 4:40 am
1910 Views
|
Got a phone call from my flatmate that someone had just smashed into her back and she couldn't move. Took a cab over there and it wasn't quite as bad as all that, but her car may be totaled and she can't bend her neck to look down. The other guy was "distracted" driving, he admitted to the cops, and rear-ended her Rodeo without even leaving any skidmarks. I told her if her neck is worse tomorrow she should definitely try to clean this guy out.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Spooky
|
Posted:Oct 30, 2011 5:35 pm
Last Updated:Oct 31, 2011 8:52 pm
1725 Views
|
My flatmate came home griping that her sexy Russian spy outfit lost out in the bar's costume contest to A Pothead, i.e., some guy named Kenny disguised as a Jamaican.
"Now I know I'm in Colorado," she said. "If that were a bar full of old men in Florida, I'd be $100 richer."
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Plus ca Change
|
Posted:Oct 22, 2011 5:42 pm
Last Updated:Aug 19, 2019 2:50 pm
1782 Views
|
One of my former houseguests is trying to get a ride up here this weekend so she can get her boxesout of my back room. Ah, once we would go shopping for rings (at Wal-Mart, but still), and now I can't even get her to come over for her stuff.
Meanwhile, the current flatmate, after getting into a brawl earlier in the week with some chick she brought home from a bar along with the usual guy or two, is off to see the Alabama game accompanied by one of the boys.
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
Update
|
Posted:Oct 18, 2011 8:03 pm
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2011 5:38 pm
1750 Views
|
My erstwhile date decided a college lecture wasn't her cup of tea (that tea-drinker), so I'll probably use my gift certificate for a free meal at Jack Quinn's after work and then hie myself to the campus.
Could be worse; my flatmate came home and said if she meets one more dumbass she'll scream bloody murder.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Reductio Ad Absurdum
|
Posted:Oct 15, 2011 2:27 pm
Last Updated:Aug 19, 2019 2:52 pm
1919 Views
|
My flatmate is partial to watching the true crime cable channels, and the other day ran across the story of a serial killer who liked to use decapitated heads for oral sex.
Hmm, someone who thinks disembodied body parts are a turn-on...I think we've met the very ideal of the TSmeet profile picture poster.
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
I'll Tell You What It's Doing
|
Posted:Oct 15, 2011 2:20 pm
Last Updated:Oct 18, 2011 6:54 pm
1587 Views
|
So, I had a date. We met for coffee at Milt's Coffee Shop, although technically she had tea and fries and I had orange juice and all-you-can-eat biscuits and gravy. (I've been taking a lot of very long walks lately. Have I mentioned this?) Anyway, seemed to go well enough, she and her gave me a ride home, and we have a date Wednesday to go hear a talk on campus by Nicolas Carr, author of The Shallows: What The Internet Is Doing To Our Brains. (She's a college student, which sounds a lot better than saying, wow, do I attract the old ladies nowadays.)
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
We're Just Having a Quiet Dinner at Home, Officers
|
Posted:Oct 14, 2011 5:42 am
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 7:16 am
1639 Views
|
My flatmate, as is her wont, brought home some guy that she'd met in a bar. The guy, who was quite the chatterbox, said he was an arborist for the city, and made either $18 or $20 an hour, or $500 or $1000 a week, depending on when you were listening, and sold heavy silver chains for $150, and that his uncle was a drag queen, and kept repeating he was the of Gary Somethingorother, as if I was supposed to recognize the name, even if I hadn't moved here from out of town ten years ago. (He reminded me of the guy who shot Sanford White, who would keep telling everyone, "I'm Harry K. Thaw. Of Pittsburgh!") Anyway, at some point my flatmate yelled at him to leave, allegedly over saying some midget at Benny's had told him he could score with her. (It also didn't help his case that he'd admitted he was making some other chick's car payments.) She kept hollering all the way to the parking lot, where he kept pleading to get his "$350 pair of Oakleys" out of her car. She finally let him look in the car and retrieve his sunglasses, at which point he triumphantly declared, "Got 'em, bitch!"
Probably not the best move. ("Dude! Ix-nay on the itch-bay!")
After further shoving and shouting she declared he was welcome to his "$350 pair of Oakleys" but the grocery bag of steaks and potatoes he'd brought over was heading back upstairs with her.
A while later the police knocked on our door and asked what had been going on. She turned on the Southern charm and asked them to come in and look around, and calmly explained that the guy had disrespected her in her own home and she'd asked him to leave, and he'd wanted to retrieve his "$350 pair of Oakleys," so she let him into her car to get them out.
She stopped then and asked me, "Tell them what happened then, Richard?"
"Called her a bitch," I replied.
So she admitted that she'd been a little angry and that she demanded he vacate our apartment complex.
So the one cop said "You took care of your business" although as they were leaving the other cop told her there were some discrepancies between her story and the way that the neighbors who phoned in described events, and she might want to be more careful in the future, and she was very attentive and respectful and said "Yes, sir" a lot.
After they left she high-fived me.
"Let's cook up some steaks," she said.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Happiness
|
Posted:Oct 14, 2011 5:19 am
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 7:16 am
1489 Views
|
My flatmate brought home a puppy. A puppy, in case you didn't know, is a baby that you have to take downstairs for a walk when she wakes you up at two in the morning. Actually, I think she was licking my fingers to wake me up and warn me to watch my step when I got out of bed. Wish I'd listened. My flatmate got after me for feeding her at two in the morning but I assured her it was too late to worry about that.
My flatmate was going to name her Alabama, and train her to be an attack dog: "Sic him, Alabama! Roll Tide!"
She held the puppy's muzzle in one hand and explained that this would make her mean.
"Is that what someone did to you?" I asked.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (rsbrandt44) use [blog rsbrandt44] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
|
11
|
21
|
32
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
251
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
|
