more consistent sexuality
|
Posted:Dec 9, 2018 7:13 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 10:11 am
2601 Views
|
i'm looking for more consistent sexuality. overall i prefer women but i have got my eye on the same sex too. i'm not saying there's anything wrong with bisexuality. in fact if i had to judge any sexuality i would say bisexuality or even pansexuality is the best because it gives u the widest understanding of sexuality & most options. but really whatever sexuality u are it's all equally good. getting back to my point, there are times when i'm in the mood sexually for the opposite sex, & sometimes there are times i'm in the mood sexually for the same sex. it's rarely both at the same time. what happens if i'm with someone i love & i'm in love with, who will never be anyone of the same sex, & i wakeup 1 morning & i'm in the mood for some dick? it would go against my special friendship or at least get in the way, & it would be unfair to her because she would deserve more of me than this including sexually. even speaking about right now in my ultimate desires for my life, same sex fantasies don't do much to help me towards those goals. i have got social anxiety with the opposite sex especially anyone i could be with, which is why i think fantasizing about guys is a way to cope with that anxiety while still being sexual. i get it, attraction to the same sex is ok, so is going for it. also i get sexuality is complicated & being in the mood for 1 at 1 time then all of a sudden being in the mood for the other is "allowed." but it doesn't make life any easier or happier for me & i don't see any advantage for dealing with this difficulty. i don't want this.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
sexual guilt about liking 2 women togather
|
Posted:Nov 27, 2018 10:16 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 10:11 am
2530 Views
|
some of u know i love the thought of 2 women togather. as in i reeeeeeealy love the thought of 2 women togather. it's the most erotic, hot, sexual, sensual, intimate, beautifull sex for me. for me there's nothing higher. if i ever wanted to be a women 99% of the reason would be so that i could be a women who can experiance the sexual touch of another women. that's how high i value it, that's how high it turns me on.
the problem is, a man. which is not a problem in itself. i accept this. i embrace this. being a man makes sense to me. i have questioned this as i do alot of things in life & the answer has allways been "ur a man." but because of this i will never experiance that level of sexuality i see 2 women can have. i fear my interests in the same sex might be an attempt to get as close to it as possible. sometimes i try & justify it by to give same pleasure to a women, of her watching me with another man & her being as turned on about the thought of 2 members of the opposite sex togather as me.
the bigger problem is i feel guilty about me really liking 2 women being togather. only because it's not definite i would like to be with a member of the same sex myself. in fact sometimes i feel like forcing my same sex desires. it seems fair if i think 2 females is a good idea so should 2 males. some women might have the same appreciation as me, i wouldn't wanna be a hypocrite & not be willing to experiance what i would like 2 members of the opposite sex to experiance. part of this might be female bisexuality is far more accepted in society than male bisexuality which i think is unfair & i would like to do something about it. but that's not the main issue i struggle with. i fear at least some of my motivation to be with a member of the same sex is to be fair with my appreciation of the lesbian experiance. i wanna believe my wish for women to experiance each other is for there benefit & not for mine. maybe also really very str8 & my desires to be with a member of the same sex is a kind of punishment of myself. it's hard to explain. pretty confused about the whole thing. have been for .
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
thinking again i might not be as bi as i think
|
Posted:Nov 8, 2018 11:58 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 10:11 am
1884 Views
|
i'm not looking for sympathy or even advise really. just wanna share where i am with my awareness. i realize very well anything outside of heterosexuality is still not encouraged though we as a society are getting better at recognizing & encouraging people who are outside of that. i still struggle a bit with seeing myself as someone who might be into people of the same sex though I know i have that right as anyone else in the world does. dreams are an ideal way to set those hangups aside & allow u to see ur true self including who u are sexually.
but my dreams suggest that desire is not there. most of my dreams about the same sex that have a sexual nature of any sort are not the most pleasant. last nite i dreamt i was downtown & walked into a bank lobby. there were only 2 guys there. 1 had on underwear only with a hole right above his cock, the other was naked & had his cock in his hand. it was apparent they were about to have sex with each other whether i was there or not, possibly wanting to involve me. i got repulsed & left.
based on that some might think my internal homophobia is so strong i can't even allow myself to enjoy the same sex in my dreams. but i'd like to think i'm openminded enough to admit it to myself in everyway, so i don't think that's the case. i'm not saying i'll never explore any possibility of experiance with someone of the same sex, in fact i'm pretty eager to do so out of some kinda intellectual curiosity. but i don't think the same sex is really for me in the longrun.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
what i'm looking for in a man
|
Posted:Nov 4, 2018 9:43 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 10:11 am
1823 Views
|
the uncertainties on my journey bother me especially when i know there are bad men out there who think they know better but are out to use & abuse people. this is why it's so important i find a guy i can trust, who might challenge me but won't force me to do anything i'm not comfortable or willing to do. i'm at a fragile point in my life emotionally & sexually & it's easy for a guy to take advantage of me in my vulnerable state & hurt me. so as much as i wanna let things happen there will allways be a part of me that won't let things go, that will be hesitant & cynical, that will question if what's happening is right. it's gonna take sometime to find the right guy (or guys as i also proposed though i'm beginning to realize more the less guys the better) to help me overcome my resistence & feel comfortable & safe trying something that's been on my mind heavily for years.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
the gay feelings are back!
|
Posted:Nov 3, 2018 11:37 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 10:11 am
1693 Views
|
ive been in a heterosexual mood lately. it's been stronger than usual so i thought maybe i wasn't really bi after all. but i should know better lol. alot of times in my past when my homosexual feelings went away i thought it would be my last like i did just recently. but allmost like a liteswitch they are back! i'm not looking for advise or support really. i accept my sexuality can get pretty interesting. just thought i'd share my thoughts with everyone here. maybe someone else is having a similar experiance & hopefully i can help u understand it's fine!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
asking for advise, 1st gay experiance, 1 guy or more?
|
Posted:Nov 3, 2018 11:19 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 10:11 am
1658 Views
|
i wanna ask u guys for advise about my 1st gay experiance. are there good reasons for doing it with just 1 guy & good reasons for doing it with more than 1 guy? how many guys would be a good number? would including women be a good idea? i know the risk of std's so i know for that reason 1 guy would be best. i'm asking more from a psychological standpoint.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
am i a sexual hypocrite?
|
Posted:Nov 1, 2018 2:03 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 10:11 am
1653 Views
|
as many of u know i love the thought of 2 women togather. there's something so special about that to me, i feel involving a male would spoil it. i allmost don't even wanna be there to watch it. allmost  but back to being serious i feel some of my attraction to the same sex might be a desire to be fair. i wanna be willing to do the same with the same sex & be open to enjoy it too. but i think at least some of my attraction to the same sex is being driven by this desire to be fair & not genuine interest.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
dream last nite
|
Posted:Oct 28, 2018 9:05 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 10:11 am
1540 Views
|
last nite i had a dream i was being dominated by 3 women. it wasn't clear what they were doing to me except they had me tied up & i liked it! then they had a guy get behind me & a strapon was put on him. then it was confusing.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
catharsis
|
Posted:Oct 8, 2018 10:41 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 10:11 am
1567 Views
|
life can have alot of stress and it can get to you. i know i have things in my life that stress me out & i wish i could get over it. maybe this is a reason for my interest in the same sex. i think 1 of the things i'm looking for in someone of the same sex is to give me a cathartic experiance. it helps i usually have a submissive roll in my homosexual fantasies. to me there's something about the thought of someone of the same sex tying me up so i can't react to his treatment of me, so i can't resist his advances. gagging me so he reduces my conversation to barely understandable grunts at best as he does things to me that make me voice a reaction. fucking the shit out of me exhausting me physically & emotionally. making me cry not just from the pain but the mind game. giving up my will completely & existing only for his benefit at least for the time being. reducing my body to a thing & me to a possession for his use & pleasure, & the use & pleasure of anyone else he wishes to let use me. maybe even making me admit to something i've never been willing to admit. i guess someone of the opposite sex could do that for me too and it would be a good experiance. but just by the other person being the same sex makes it more extreme to me and therefore more effective.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
my homosexual exploration/fantasies
|
Posted:Sep 28, 2018 2:11 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 10:11 am
1586 Views
|
well i guess these are homosexual fantasies but ones i'm actually looking to experiance. also kinda describe what i'm looking to accomplish.
1) i would like a man to make love to me. around my age or older maybe upto 20 years. someone who's been around the block, someone who's been there. someone who understands my fears, my confusion, my uncertainties when it comes to my same sex desires. someone who will help me realize it's ok for me to admit i can enjoy being with a guy. trust is very important in any sexual encounter but especially in this case obviously. the way i describe this it seems this would probably be the ideal 1st homosexual experiance for me. i'll let u judge that.
2) i would like to make love to a younger man, someone around late teens/early 20's, like a college student. a guy who's on his own for the 1st time in his life, grew up sheltered but now in college has been exposed to alot not just academically but socially. so now he has questions. i would like to be a friend to him, share common interests. also share what knowledge i have about college & life in general. including sex but not only. eagerly awaiting the moment we finally shed our cloths & our inhibitions. seeing his young smooth body, touching it, admiring it. maybe it's a way to relive my youth & resolve my regret for never having been with a guy or really considering it when i was younger & everything seemed newer & more exciting. his age wouldn't hurt cause he could be ready at the drop of a hat lol. but i wouldn't want this to be 1 sided, i'd wanna give him a great opportunity to learn about alot of things, giving him a great experiance maybe his 1st with another guy.
3) i would like to be the center of a male gangbang. i think being the center of a bunch of guy's attention & desire would make me feel sexy, important. plus giving myself not just to 1 guy but multiple guys would be some kinda affirmation. letting go & giving control to a gay situation would give me an interesting sense of freedom. by the way i'm not against being the center of a female gangbang. similar feelings of sexiness & importance & if some women can't wait to tear into me & decide to take care of each other while i watch, i wouldn't have a problem with that!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
a fantasy about a bdsm lifestyle
|
Posted:Jul 30, 2018 12:18 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2018 12:20 pm
2175 Views
|
this is a fantasy but maybe parts of this fantasy are a possible way for me to try out homosexuality. i'm still pretty confused about my feelings for the same sex & it's clear to me i gotta have my 1st time with a guy who understands this. a guy who will be able to show me new things. maybe that guy should be my master. my same sex fantasies usually have me submissive anyways. nothing would happen right away of course. we would both know the ultimate goal is a dom/sub relationship. we would spend sometime getting to know each other, not just sexually though that would be the focus. we would get comfortable with each other. slowly i would trust him & he would start to seduce me. he would intrigue me. make me wonder what he is like in another light. as my trust in him would grow, i would let him control me more. the sex wouldn't start right away. maybe he would tie me up & make me watch him walk around in his underwear. maybe he would make me walk around all day on my hands & knees bringing him food & drinks. there are alot of things i could do to show my commitment to my master without it being sexual. slowly he would take control over me until 1 day, the day i've been waiting for for years, the day i have my 1st gay sex. but this is also the day i let my master possess me. he tells me to take off all of my cloths except my underwear. do u wanna go on? yes, master. take off ur underwear. i let them drop to the floor. lay down on the bed, face up. he gets on top of me, pins my arms down. he gazes deeply into my eyes. are u sure u wanna go on? yes, master. are u ready to give urself up? yes, master. do u agree to be my property? yes, master. do u give up ur whole will to me? yes, master. do u desire to give ur whole self completely to me? yes, master. will u live no longer for urself but ony for me? yes, master. will u do every little thing i tell u to do to the best of ur ability? yes, master. as a sign of ur loyalty to me will u turn completely homosexual for me? yes, master. ru in love with me? yes, master. say it. i'm in love with u, master & i wanna belong to u for the rest of my life! i'm in love with u too, pet, i will cherish u as my most prized possession. for the rest of the nite my master takes his time passionately & tenderly making love to me. i have never felt happier in all of my life. i'm finally crossing off the big item on my bucket list, i'm finally doing it with a guy! and it's with my master, a man i have given myself to, a man i wish to please, a man i love with all my heart. a man! i'm still in a bit of disbelief over living such a strictly enforced heteronormative live & rejecting it all for the love of a man. not even my willingness to experement sexually completely prepared me for this. but it doesn't make this nite any less special. it is all the pleasure i have hoped for & much more. the next morning we go to the courthouse, because it's the us & same sex marriage is fortunately legal so not only do we declare our love to each other in the privacy of master's bed, we make it official by declaring it to the state. we spend our honeymoon on a secluded beach, alot of it with me tied up or gagged. over the years master continuously challenges me & my assumptions. he openly has romantic & sexual relationships with members of both sexes but he makes me understand i'm his only true love. he's also very generous. he shares his most prized possession with his friends. he lets them use me as they wish & he instructs me to do whatever they tell me to do. it pleases master to show his friends what a loyal, faithfull loving pet he owns, & he wishes to share the joy he has with me, with others. i love that about him so much! i'm only eager to see to his happiness. plus to be honest it's a special thrill. giving up control of myself to 1 special man is a joy in itself, giving up control of myself to more than 1 man adds that much more excitement. plus it needs that much more self confidence to be shared among multiple men. which master has instilled in me & i love him for that. also master is considerate of me because he's allways trying to expand my enjoyment, & he knows i have grown to like the attention of being a sex object for multiple men who are treating my body & my soul as a fucktoy. sometimes when 1 of master's friends is having a hard time in life he loans me out to him. but master treats me very well. he gets me the best medical care & the best education. and he also cares about me deeply. he talks to me, really talks to me. asks me questions about my life & helps me get over problems. sometimes i even dare to bring up problems of his he might not realize he's having & he appreciates that too. but sometimes I also just act bratty just so he can punish me. i enjoy his corrective force over me, which is never vengefull or vindictive. he knows I do too. it's really a game but he humors me. we spend a lifetime pleasing each other in our own way & it is blissfull. but the day comes when master passes away. i spend his last minutes by his side, naked of course because it allways pleased him to look at my body & i wanted very much to give him the pleasure of his most prized possession during his last breaths. his death saddens me immensely. but u know that confidence master instilled in me? it has grown so much & it allows me to move on in life & enjoy it, even though there is a big void in it now. and the friends who had me for there pleasure? some of them are there to take care of me. they know how much i meant to master, so they have taken the task to look on after me. of course they take care of me sexually, as bittersweet as it is. but they also look after my wellbeing. after years of knowing me & fucking me they have grown to love me too. so master is looking on after me through his good friends. he has given me a good life to the end & even after his own end. i love u master & i can't wait to join u in heaven & be with u again in joy. untill then i will remember u with fondness & still be open to happiness as u have allways encouraged me.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
everyone should consider a homosexual experiance
|
Posted:Jul 29, 2018 10:16 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 10:11 am
1626 Views
|
i think everyone who is open to sex should consider a homosexual experiance at least once in there lifetime. i think it’s a good way to explore urself sexually. after all, the person u would be having an experiance with would be the same sex as u, so u2 would have parts of sexuality in common. u can then take what u learn & discover to bed with someone of the opposite sex if u swing that way.
ive said this before & i’ll probably say it again until the day i die, there is nothing more erotic, more sensual, more beautiful sexually than 2 females sharing intimacy. they are so in tune with each other’s rhythm & they know how to touch each other in a way a male never will. involving a male would taint the experiance. it’s probably the closest thing to pure sex you can get! it is really special & if it’s as great of an experiance as i think it is, i would not any woman to be denied it, it would be important to experiance it & on some level the most pleasure she will ever feel.
but it would be hypocritical to praise female homosexual encounters without considering a male 1 might also be exceptional. there’s something to be said about a sexual experiance with 2 males too. there’s still that level of familiarity. there might also be a level of practicality. u both know what u like as men, so ur in a better position to give it to each other right away.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
i think bisexuality is awesome
|
Posted:Jul 20, 2018 9:36 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 10:11 am
1512 Views
|
i think it's awesome there are people who have sex with people of both sexes. in societies where homosexual contact is at least discouraged on so many levels, there are people who realize there is no good reason to forbid activity with members of ur own sex. or even to fall in love! after all sex isn't just for making babies, it's damn fun too! and if u like to have fun with the same sex & the opposite sex, what's the big deal? some people try both ways & hate it, some love it & there are people in between with each sex. but the point is, they have dared to reject the idea ur not allowed to do things just because of someone's gender. or maybe they have grown up in an environment where it was never questioned. either way i think it's awesome people have been with both sexes! i admire, respect & salute all of u! <3
(and hopefully i'll get to have sex with some of u too lol!)
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (sysper) use [blog sysper] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
1
|
2
|
3
|
42
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
131
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
261
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
