To GUYS, which pic makes a better profile pic? (pls answer the poll!)
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Posted:Jan 1, 2011 7:50 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2011 8:41 am
8866 Views
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This is part of a poll, but since I can't include photos in TSmeet polls, which is quite a spaz, I am making one post for the photo, and the poll can be seen at this link here --> To GUYS, which makes a better profile pic pic in previous post.
The question is super simple: Which one of the following pics do YOU think is more attractive to you if it was used as a profile pic of a female TSmeet member?
I guess most guys would be like "I don't care, both look yummy!", but I'm asking this to test a theory, which I will only share by updating this post after I get around 100 votes or so (depending on the rate of feedback). So humour me and choose one answer in the poll, and if you're curious to find out what I'm getting at, just watch the poll!
And in case you were wondering, those are not my pics. Sorry to disappoint you guys, but only the guys I romp with get to see my goods. ^_^
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8
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Hurrah! I've found the king of idiotic messages
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Posted:Dec 30, 2010 8:45 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 5:47 pm
7102 Views
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Seriously you will NOT believe this guy. Really, you won't. This guy whom I shall call Zack (I'm being very nice already by not posting his whole handle), has posted at least 3 or 4 comments on my blog sometimes in English, sometimes in Malay (my country's local language) basically saying "If you want to, you can call me, my number is there (in his handle), ok". I ignored him and deleted his posts a few times and finally got so fed up of him spamming my blog, I sent him an email telling him off... and results were just too damn funny.
Most of it is in Malay though, but of course, English translation is included as required. And the guy wrote ALL his replies in his email subject too. Like hello? Are you familiar with the area where you type your email which has a much longer character limit?
Well, after reading his replies to my mails, I guess even that concept was too much for his brain to handle:
Me: I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU. PLEASE DON'T POST ON MY BLOG ANYMORE. TERIMA KASIH OK (THANK YOU OK). YEEESH
Zack: knape,i nak jmpe u,bukan free k (why, i want to meet you, not free k)
Me: Oh ya, kalau kamu ada baca blog saya (dan saya rasa u memang tidak baca satu perkataan pun) kamu akan tahu saya baru dapat pembedahan. Maksudnya dalam Bahasa English, I CAN'T HAVE SEX NOW BECAUSE I NEED TO RECOVER FROM MY SURGERY. Saya juga mungkin ada jangkitan HPV, maksudnya, Human Papillomavirus, dan itu satu jenis jangkitan seksual. Masih mau saya ke?
(Oh yeah, if you have read my blog (and I guess you haven't read one word of it)you would know that I just underwent a surgery. Meaning in English, I CAN'T HAVE SEX NOW BECAUSE I NEED TO RECOVER FROM MY SURGERY. I also may have a HPV infection, meaning Human Papillomavirus, and that is a sexually transmittable disease. You still want me?)
(Note: Was just trying to freak out the guy to leave me alone  )
Zack: tau le dah bace pun td,i nk jmpe bkan utk sex,i faham situasi you k,i just nak knal you,i just nak teman g clubing (i know and have read it just now, i don't want to meet for sex, i understand your situation, i just want to get to know you, i want a friend to go clubbing with)
Me: 1) Tak free pun, bukan maksudnya blog itu boleh jadikan tempat untuk kamu untuk mengiklankan diri sendiri. Kalau lu memang ADA baca blog saya, memang kau akan tau saya tak suka orang buat 'self-advertising' on my blog. Tau tak apa tu the TIMHOS?
2) U takde kawan pegi clubbing dengan lu ke? Kena cari kat sini? Sangat sangat sedih.
3) Lu ada bayar pun, dengan mesej macam tu, saya pun tak mau jumpa lah.
(1) Even though the site is not free, doesn't mean my blog is a place for you to advertise yourself. If you actually DO read my blog, you would know I hate guys that self-advertise on my blog. Do you know is the TIMHOS?
2) You don't have any friends to go clubbing with you? Have to look here? That is very, very sad.
3)Even if you were paying, with messages like yours, I also wouldn't want to meet you)
(Get ready for the fun part!!! ^_^)
Zack: tolong bgtau k,norzeha70,i tgu die,i xleh nak email kat die,prob ape ntah (please tell k, norzeha70, i am waiting for her, i cannot email her, dunno what is the problem)
Me: I'll email them and tell them how lame you are, k?
I can't believe after all that, the guy had the nerve to ask me to help him to email someone coz' he can't send emails (obviously because he's a standard member and his IQ is too low to understand that that means he doesn't normally get mailing rights). But I checked out the username norzeha70, and they turned out to be a COUPLE profile, which specifically states that they are only into married couples and NOT single men. I suspect that zack has been annoying them too. And so I did him the favour he requested and sent this norzeha70an email like he requested... well, not exactly the way he requested of course...
Title: Message from annoying zack
Hi there,
I'm not asking for a romp. However, I have this guy whose handle is zack******** (I'm not sure if you know him) who keeps posting annoying comments on my TSmeet blog asking me to call him. So when I finally emailed him to tell him in a not-very-nice manner that I'm totally not interested, after a bit of whining from his side, he in turn asked me to 'help him' by sending you two an email coz' he can't do so. Well, he didn't tell me WHAT to email you, so I thought I'd do him and both of you a favour by saying please ignore this zack******* because he is a total douchebag.
Other than that, I hope you were somewhat amused, apologies if I offended you at my indirect tirade at this annoying guy, and happy couple romping! ^_^
And after I was done writing that lovely message, I checked my mail back and got this reply from the guy:
Zack: tq nea,nice to b friends k
You know they say laughter is the best medicine, and since I just had my biopsy, I think this really did the trick to help me get better. Coz' I was laughing like a hyena at that last email.
His mum should have just named him STOOOOOPIIIID.
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9
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I'm BACK from my biopsy, minus a piece of cervix. :P
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Posted:Dec 29, 2010 1:53 am
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2011 10:16 am
7196 Views
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Hi peeps, I went for my colposcopy / biopsy this morning and back with a vengence! Well, actually more like back with slightly less of a cervix, since the doc removed the part with the abnormal cells. Wasn't much to it, the surgery was at 11.30am but I had to be there by 8am in preparation for the surgery, although God knows WHY I had to be there so early. I spent more time waiting than anything else, but at least the nurses were quite nice (it wasn't a government hospital THAT's why. Hahaha). I was made to go through the whole normal pre-surgery routine, i.e. strip off all my clothes and don the very airy surginal gown, then I was enjoying the comfort of the ward bed for about an hour and a half with copies of Reader's Digest and Newsweek to keep me entertained.
Then it was surgery time, and the nurses wheeled me into the next room (weee!) and the anaesthetist came along and she together with 2 other nurses were working to get the tip of the anaethetic needle in my hand (they would only inject me in the surgery room), and they looked like they were fumbling a bit, so that was the only time I was a tad bit worried (like don't poke me in the wrong place, please!!), but it turned out fine.
Then after waiting a while longer in that room and humming a little tune in my head while admiring the adjacent Christmas tree, I was whisked off again (weeee!!) into the surginal room where I moved over to the surgical bed. And there were even more people to fuss over me, and had some miscellaneous tubes suctioned onto me, and the heartrate pulse detector thingamajiggy was strapped around my arm (I'm sorry, not a doctor, too lazy to find out what it's called). My doctor came in, asked how I was doing and gave me some super quick post-surgical advice. Then came the anaethetic, and they put the oxygen mask over my mouth, and I was thinking that the oxygen smelled sweet in a weird kinda way. And just for the heck of it I was humming a little tune in my head.
"I've got a lovely bunch of tiddley winks, diddley dum... there they are standing in a row..."
*ZonK!*
I was out like a light, and before I knew it, I was awake back at the ward, the oxygen mask still on me as well as all the other stuff, but soon the nurse helped 'unplug' the suction cups and whatever other thingamajiggies. And the doc came in again, saying he had removed a 10-cent size piece of my cervix where the abnormal cells were, and the nurse was so kind to even show it to me. I was still groggy at the time, so was looking at it like "Ooh, piece of ma cervix. Cooool" Apparently they had also put some gauze in my vagina to soak up excess blood, so they told me to lie back and chill for a bit, also to prevent me from getting nausetic and all.
Soon I was fully awake and itching to be discharged, although the nurses were busy with other patients and I was left there for a while twiddling my thumbs. Then one was kind enough to bring me my clothes and handbag (which is how I managed to take the pic above), but still left me there to twiddle me thumbs. Then finally a nurse had time to come and removed the gauze from in me, and went she took it out, she was like pulling... and pulling... and pulling... and pulling, and I was like "Damn, that's not a piece of gauze, that's like a freakin' scarf!". And it was full of blood. Gross, but all in a day's work for the docs and nurses.
Then I finally got to change my clothes and was ready to fly out the door, but the nurses wouldn't let me, even though I felt perfectly fine, they insisted someone wheelchair me downstairs just in case I collapsed in the lift due to after effects of the anaethetic. Wokays. But I felt totally fine even in the cab all the way home, so actually, I should have just drove to the hospital and save myself the cab money.
So yeah, the docs still need to test and confirm what is the cause of the abnormal cells, whether HPV or not, and I will only know next week.
And the bill for all that comes up to a whopping RM 3718.60 (about USD 1120), not including fees from my visit to the clinic yesterday which comes up to RM520 (USD168 ). Makes me very glad I have insurance, and I certainly hope they don't screw me over on this one.
But definitely learned my lesson... I'm sticking to my rules 100% and no more romping without a condom (sad news for my favourite fuck buddy, but he's not the one who has to deal with this shitz)!!
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Pap smear results are in and it's not good :(
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Posted:Dec 28, 2010 3:01 am
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2011 10:17 am
7856 Views
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Referring to my earlier post on my first pap smear, I got my results back and this week and it seems I have 'abnormal' cervical cells called Low Grade Squamous Intrapithelial Lesion (LGSIL ), and likely to be caused by Human Papillomavirus (HPV) infection. Apologies to those who hate biology, I'm a bit of a science geek and enjoy rambling about the technicalities, but basically, it's nothing severe at this point. What I have is a form of pre-cancer cells, which means if I don't treat it now, years or more down the lines, it will most likely develop into cervical cancer and I'll be a dead duck in about 10 years or so. What a morbid thought for a sex blog, but just for you guys who thought NSA sex was totally carefree for both guys and gals, think again.
Tomorrow I will be doing a colposcopy, which is a procedure where the doc will insert something into the vag to examine the cervix better to confirm what kind of infection it is. I will also undergo a minor surgery where the doc will remove the top layer of my cervix where the abnormal cells are, then test these to see how far deep in the cervix the abnormal cells are (obviously, the thinner the affected layer, the better) and also test to see what kind of HPV strain I was infected with, if it is confirmed to be HPV (most likely). There are several HPV strains, some are meaner than others. And if I have the really bad strain, it means it's too late for me to get my HPV vaccination (to prevent repeat infections later on), but if not I can still get it done.
The doc was cool in that he explained all this to me well. And I was pretty cool as well, considering the news I was getting. I think most ppl would totally freak, but I'm actually quite glad this was detected early so I can do something about it now rather than find out later when its gotten much worse. I also had no problem with MOST of his other pre-surgery advice, except one.
"Don't eat or drink anything after midnight tonight"
Okie dokie
"After the surgery you can't have sex for a month at least"
Bummer, but ok
"You will be anaesthetized and will feel a bit groggy after, but you'll be fine after a nap"
Alrighty, need my beauty sleep anyway
"Bring someone along who can accompany you and drive you back since you can't drive after the surgery"
What????
Well, I didn't say it out loud, but I think my eyes went as big as a watermelon when he told me the last part. I would no doubt love to have someone accompany me as it would be quite sad to go in there alone.... but considering I live a discreet sexual lifestyle, NO ONE among my family or non-romping friends know about my naughty side. So getting someone to accompany me is going to be a problem, and my only options for transport are getting a romp buddy or get a cab. Oh well, I'll figure it out today.
Anyhow, I suppose the timing for this to happen is ok since I was thinking of taking a break from TSmeet anyway, and now I have an excuse not to meet new guys to have sex for a month. I have a feeling this also means most guys will also drop me like a rock once they hear I've been infected with HPV before, which is a rather sad thought (although there would be practically no risk of infection as long a guy uses a condom, and after surgery, all my abnormal and infected cells would be removed anyway). Plus I'm also a bit sad that no one will be there with me during the surgery. But this the sucky part I have to bear with in living a discreet naughty lifestyle I suppose! 
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The Connection Factor is essential in every F*ck
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Posted:Dec 27, 2010 7:49 am
Last Updated:Dec 29, 2010 12:07 am
6767 Views
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I'm feeling rather frustrated.
My inbox once again suffers a dearth of interesting emails, to the point where I decided to do something today which I very rarely do, which is search for guys (yeah, I'm one of those who'd rather the guy make the first move, so bite me). Unfortunately being a standard member, the permissible scope of my search is limited, and for some reason, the search results just seems to show all the profiles of guys with cock pics first. And if you don't know me by now, I really don't like cock pics. I don't hate them, but when I'm doing an online search for guys and I'm faced with heaps of pictures of men's penises, they all just start looking like each other and I swear I can almost feel my brain cells deteriorating.
What makes it even more frustrating is when all the profiles also say pretty much the same thing, i.e.
"I love sex and I can lick pussy all night."
"I'll have sex with any woman, call me at blablabla."
It really tells me nothing about a guy except that he likes sex, which I would think is really "DUH" on a site like this. Even worst when all other info on a guy's profile is listed as "Prefer not to say".
Most guys might just think I enjoy being a whiner. Well, I'm a girl, so to a certain extent, we all like to whine (and I'm one of the few who will actually admit it). But the fact of the matter for me, and I would think for most REAL non- girls on this site, is that I enjoy having a personal connection with my men. I want to be with someone I can enjoy talking to and can even look up to, and that in itself would make the sex more fulfilling coz' I'm not a and I certainly don't want to feel like one where a guy just has his way with me then tata. I don't usually get close to people, but some of the conversations I have enjoyed the most in my life were with men I have been with. I just think that time after having sex with a guy when I'm snuggling up to him and we're chatting about anything and everything is one of best experiences. Which is why I also prefer regular guys to one night stands, coz' if it's just much better being with someone I'm already comfortable with and able to share playful banter about whatever other nonsense is going on in our lives. So I get so dang frustrated when so many guys make it out like the only thing they care about is the sex and having a connection means nothing to them. Much as I would love to detach my emotions from my sex drive, I am still somewhat an idealistic fart who believes passion, emotional connection and a little bit of romance is essential, not optional, for good sex. Just coz' we all like to keep things NSA doesn't mean we should only f*ck like animals and leave the emotional part aside. If that was all there is to it, I might as well get myself a dildo!
The even more frustrating thing for me is that I have met quite a number of guys from the site (slightly over 10 now), and yet I only have one regular guy, M, while I have romped with a few others about 3 times or so and then no action since, and other still have been one off meets. Some of the one-offs were coz' I didn't really enjoy the romp as much as I hoped, so that was it, and if I had to I told the guy the truth and they are ok with it. But in some cases, I actually quite enjoyed the romps and had a good connection with the guy and thought there would be some potential for him as a regular guy, but after a while, even though I do make some effort to chat up the guy after that, I get ignored.
Which makes me kinda go WTF?
It annoys me coz' whatever reason they have, I just can't avoid the feeling that I was just another one of their sexual 'conquests' after which they decided to just move on. I don't mind if they don't want to meet up for sex for whatever reason they, but if we did enjoy a good connection during sex, it would be nice to continue at least being friends and chatting every now and then. But so far, I've had a few experiences of guys I enjoyed being with just choosing to ignore me after that.
So for the purposes of getting over my annoyance, I'm seriously considering taking myself off the A F F market for a while, and just enjoying my time with M. Considering, but not there yet.
On a positive note, I am very grateful for one guy (who goes by the nick of Hairy Wolverine) who has continued to keep in contact with me even months though we have only romped once and haven't met up for a while. Many brownie points to you, HairyW, and I do enjoy our friendship. 
The other good news is that in my search today I did manage to find 2 potentially interesting guys and I made the first move by emailing them. After that I just got too overwhelmed by cock pics to bother continuing. -_-
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Standard members, here's my Christmas present to you
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Posted:Dec 26, 2010 10:01 am
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2011 11:03 am
7198 Views
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As most of you already know, I really really REALLY don't like guys posting their annoying one-liners asking me to hook up with them on my blog posts. But I also understand that TSmeet makes it difficult for you poor non-paying members and blogs are one of the few ways you can actually contact a girl without making the dudes who run site a little richer. And I have no doubt that there are standard members who would make interesting romping partners.
SO all ye male standard members (in my area only, of course), I shall be a nice chick today and offer you a rare golden opportunity, by posting my profile details here for you guys to check out and you are totally free to write me back whatever you want. I promise whatever posts I get here, even the horrible one-liners, will not get posted on the TIMHOS. In fact, I won't even comment on this post... if I like what I read, I'll just send you a personal email in response.  And for the most part, I will only respond to messages that shows signs that it came from a guy with:
1) An interesting personality
2) A certain level of intelligance
3) The capability to see a girl as more than just a sex object
My profile details are below!
Introduction Text (e.g. Describe who you are and what you like/dislike) :
I enjoy sex because of the intimacy, and appreciate a guy who knows how to treat me with respect in bed and make me feel beautiful, not just treat me like a sex object. I enjoy starting off with some tender and romantic moments (lots of kisses, hugs, touching), nevertheless, once I'm warmed up and comfy with a guy, I'm more than happy to go into my naughty mode and try some more adventurous things. I'm not into slapping and violent sex, but am interested in trying various positions... or different places. I'm also looking for a guy who can make me come with his tongue...I'll return the favour by sucking on you good. More details on what I like at my blog post on 8 Surefire Ways A Guy Will Turn Me On In Bed
My Ideal Person (e.g. describe what kind of friend you are looking for) :
A guy with an interesting personality, enjoys fun conversations, can make me laugh and takes his time to get to know me (yeah, I know you guys just wanna get in my pants, but the other stuff is important too, okayzz). I'd rather be with a few good guys regularly, rather than have a lot of one night stands...sooo you really need to get my attention! I'm still single, but also up for the idea of finding a guy I can really connect with as a life partner, but still enjoy some swinging on the side (which means you can still screw around with other girls so long as you keep it safe and make sure I know about, and same goes for me. Now how great would it be to have a girlfriend like that?). Having said that, I'm still ok with guys who prefer to keep it NSA.
And I'm a pretty candid person (if you can't tell already), so lemme tell you who I WON'T go for:
1) Preferably no guys that more than a decade older than me..feels too weird to do someone who could be my uncle...or dad. O_O (however, I have been known to be flexible in this area, and find that sometimes older guys are more interesting to be with)
2) No black guys either. Sorry, I've had many nice black friends, but it would also be kinda too weird for me.
3) No smokers. Not into sucking face with chimneys.
4) No married guys or guys with a girlfriend (as in, a supposedly committed relationship). Whatever issues you are having with her, I believe you should be trying to fix them and not coming here coz' I'm not gonna be your dang rebound girl or the other woman. EXCEPT if you are a swinging couple and your partner knows what you're up to. Then I'll consider
5) No guys who refuse to wear protection. Lest you want me to slap you if I get preggers, or medical bills if you pass me some STDs. Lol.
6) Preferably no one night stands, coz' it's kinda difficult to enjoy a connected relationship if you're not planning to see me again ever. However, I might reconsider if you are super hot!!! XD
And please do not write me emails like Those OhSoUninteresting Emails, coz' you are more likely than not to not get a reply.
I do not like lame one-liners. I do not like guys who send me their phone number expecting me to call them. I don't like penis pics. And I will verbally kick the butt of any guy who talks to me like I have some obligation to fuck you.
Other than that, I'm mostly a pretty cool person, so don't get scared. ^_^.
Merry Christmas!
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Honesty is (sometimes) the best policy when living a double life
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Posted:Dec 23, 2010 9:58 am
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2010 1:06 am
7700 Views
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I was hanging out with a bunch of close friends today...close but not close enough that they know about my naughty lifestyle on TSmeet coz' they would just totally freak out if they knew. Actually freaking out would be a mild reaction, coz' the honest truth is that I'm a Christian, as most peeps would know, we're not supposed to do the whole sex before marriage thing coz' it's baaaad. I can talk til the cows come home on my philosophical beliefs and why I do what I do, but that's another story! The story now that I was hanging out with Christian friends who would never believe in a million years that I have been romping with various guy coz' I am still very active in my church and I've done a pretty good job of being mostly not sexy in real life (which may be why I can't get a real boyfriend...hmmm).
So I was kinda pooped today while hanging out, and one of my pals asked me what I was doing late up last night. So I told her the honest truth.
"I was up looking for sex partners online"
She laughed her head off and said, "Hey, I was up doing that too!"
And I was like "Yeah, through one of those Friend Finder websites, right?"
And she laughed her head off even more.
And several times during the day, the topic came up again on me being pooped, and I just kept saying that it was coz' I was looking for sex partners online. And they would all totally laugh their heads off.
Of course, they all thought I was joking.
So you see, honesty is the best policy when it comes to hiding your double life on TSmeet. It also really helps if you know how to constantly talk enough crap around your friends to the extent that they don't take what you say really seriously... and in this case, I don't really mind! Lol!
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Poetry in Motion
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Posted:Dec 20, 2010 7:18 am
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2010 1:09 am
6398 Views
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I read the blogs of some ladies on TSmeet who like to post their poetry. I find it interesting that they would post stuff as emo as poetry on a site made for the purpose of finding casual sex partners. Like really, in the sea of guys more interested in showing off their cock pics than anything else (except actual sex, of course), would these ladies actually find an sizable audience for their inspired works of art? Or just lots of posts from horny guys telling them to call their number now for a rockin' good time?
Well, a long time ago when I was younger and more emo, I used to be an wannabe poet myself. So allow me to indulge myself in an experiment on what fascinating responses I receive on this post.
Here's a rather emo piece I wrote in 2004, which was inspired by my first sort-of-boyfriend (it was complicated) at a time when I actually felt guilty for losing my virginity before marriage (In case you're wondering, I kinda gotten past that stage. Duh).
This Moment
Lying here in your arms, so strong yet so gentle.
So comforting amidst this conflict in me
And I just wish this moment would never end
Though I know it must
I love the smell of your hair
I love the taste of your lips
I love the warmth of your body
I love the touch of your hand caressing my skin
I love how you say you love caressing my skin
I love the power of you inside of me
And how you know how to take me
Into feelings of pure ecstasy
Yet I know that I don't love you
I don't even know you
And what feels so right, I know is wrong
What I want so badly, I know I shouldn't have
If there was no time
If there were no consequences
If there were no beliefs and no truth
If only we could live life on emotions and touch
I would gladly stay in this moment with you
And relive it with you again and again
As it is, all I can do is lie here with you in your arms
Your warm, comforting arms
And with this moment would never end...
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15
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It's the little things that count...
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Posted:Dec 19, 2010 10:05 pm
Last Updated:Dec 26, 2010 10:11 am
6082 Views
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I have a personal trainer whom I've been working with for a few months and my reasons for selecting him were very simple.
1) He's a senior trainer and therefore knows what he's doing better than most of the other young trainer punks at my gym.
2) He has the hottest bod and is the best dang looking guy at the whole gym.
I have a tough time deciding which criterion is more important. It also really helps that we joke around a lot and get along superbly well. I think it almost counts as flirting.
Anyway, the other day he asked me to lie on my back and do some leg lifts to work out my tummy while holding on to his ankles as he was standing over my head. And my hair was kind falling over my eyes, so he bent over used both his hands to brush the hair off my face, such that his hands brushed against my cheeks.
So I was thinking like, "Omigod, you hunky piece of man-meat! Take me, take me now!!!"
Lesson of the day:
Do not underestimate the power and ability of cute, sweet little gestures to turn a girl into a horny-fied mess.
It also helps a lot if you're a hunky piece of man-meat.
Too bad he has a girlfriend and I don't play with the taken ones. So time for me to get back to work now.
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My fantasy to KISS (keep it simple, stupid) a complicated guy
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Posted:Dec 18, 2010 6:46 am
Last Updated:Jan 5, 2011 9:08 am
6407 Views
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I'm sure we all know someone or have known someone... Someone you've had a 'thing' for a long time but didn't dare to tell that person what you wanted. Especially if all you wanted was just one hot steamy night with that person.
I met Sean about three years ago. He was definitely one of the most interesting guys I've ever met. He was a friend of a friend, and mixed around with my 'gang' easily enough, and soon he was inviting us out to hang out, do stuff, sometimes at his place. He was sociable, taking the time to get to know everyone. Funny without being lame. Incredibly intelligent, with always something to talk about. Not to mention a really good looking guy. We would constantly challenge each other with brainteasers. Our favourite game was Taboo, and my favourite moment with him was during a Christmas party, where pairs of people were challenged to play that game in front of everyone else...he and I took up the challenge and beat everyone else flat. We both won a cute animal mug, and he kept it in the box since, as his 'trophy'.
After a while, the thoughts he shared among my circle of friends became more personal... and a bit more depressing. He claimed he was just pretending to be sociable, but he's not actually like that at all. He had his reasons, a bit of a troubled childhood. And he was tired of pretending to be someone he wasn't around us. He was of course, smart enough to figure out that I totally had a thing for him. And it was one day when just the two of us were having lunch that we talked about it... he said it wasn't that he wasn't interested in me. But he was afraid that I wouldn't be able handle to handle him and his eccentric behaviour. He was the type who felt emotionless during funerals and couldn't really give a damn when friends are going through troubled times. He was the type who would go all out to help a friend in whatever way he physically could... but he could never be there emotionally. He just didn't believe that any girl could be happy with him, the way he was. We didn't speak to each other much after that, but every time we did, I would learn more and more about his complex personality, he would give me hints into why he was the way he was and I would try to advise him not let himself become a negative person because of his past...that he can always change if he wanted to coz' he's already aware that he has a problem. How much he listened to my advice, I don't really know.
He's a Christian guy too, taught that sex before marriage is not good. But he's a hot blooded guy just like any other guy, I know it coz' he's talked about sex before, and I remember him saying that sex would be great.... with someone you really cared about. And his most 'naughty' time was with an ex-girlfriend, on a day when he was wearing a tie, and she grabbed it and pulled him towards her for a make-out sessions. He said that was pretty hot, and I was thinking "I'd pull your tie any day".
I've had a number of crushes on guys before, and I've never had much of a problem getting them. But with Sean, I've never stopped being fascinated with him, even though I'm not sure whether or not I actually want to be in a relationship with such a guy who is more likely to cause me more headache than anything. I wonder sometimes...am I interested in him just coz' I have some hope that maybe I could get draw him out of that depressing behaviour of his and go back to being the funny, sociable guy I once knew? Or is it because I believe that he is actually a much nicer person than he believes himself to be, and I want to help him to see that? Or is the only reason I remain infatuated with him is because he's still one of the hottest guys I know and it's such a waste to let such a smokin' hot guy remain single?
A mutual friend of him and mine once told me that maybe Sean would change to be better if he found love. Sometimes when I feel like a hopeless romantic, I hold out to the thought that I could be that special someone to be there for him , understand him and love him through all his eccentric behaviour.
But on most other days, I'd rather just forget about the whole complex personality bit and enjoy some simple no-strings-attached hot steamy nights with him... for all I know, it could be just the thing he needs. ^_^
Sigh... just of those naughty fantasies I will never indulge in and he will probably never know.
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It's not going to lick itself
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Posted:Dec 18, 2010 4:55 am
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2010 6:09 am
6563 Views
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My aunt bought this shirt for me as a Christmas present (it shows a lollipop on the left of the shirt).
I honestly don't know what the heck she was thinking or whether she even read the shirt before she bought it... but I have gotten some cute comments from my observant friends.
It's true after all.... a lollipop can't lick itself. Among other things.^_^
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To link to this blog (naemya) use [blog naemya] in your messages.
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