Whatever happened to.....
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Posted:Mar 2, 2015 10:21 pm
Last Updated:Oct 21, 2021 9:44 pm
8287 Views
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the days when people wanted to say hi and just chat and get to know you? It seems like everywhere I turn, the common theme now is,"Hi, you're cute. Wanna hook up?"
The world moves fast enough without relationships (friendship or otherwise) trying to follow suit. It's the day of instant gratification and as far as this lifestyle is concerned, I think people are really missing out on what could be epic and settling for the "in the moment" good time. Good is the enemy of great. No matter what it is.
Something truly great requires nurturing.
Granted, there are people out there who go for the total stranger and in the moment. That's up to them. I'm not here to judge, that's just their thing. I am a little fearful at the randomness of it all because there are diseases that are out there and it's way too easy to catch them. I've had scares finding out a past playmate got caught. Luck was on my side though as I remain unscathed. I would rather take the time to make sure I know more about my partner so that isn't an issue and the worry factor is nil as well.
I guess this means I'm more of a romantic..but so be it. Married life isn't as romantic as the dating life was. Sometimes it's nice to rekindle that. I value true friends. Anyone worth my time values that too. That's where the foundation to a great fun relationship of any kind lies.
It looks like I kind of wandered with the thought process but it boils down to this. I am not cheap nor am I easy by any stretch and I know for certain that I am worth more than just the casual "Hey, wanna hook up?" or "Watch me cum?" or "Would you fuck me?"comment. If you don't agree, sorry, we won't jive. Have a great life.
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Something sexy...
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Posted:Nov 26, 2014 12:12 pm
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2020 7:37 pm
10186 Views
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Have you ever had one of those encounters? Eyes meet, it's like the air crackles with electricity...there's a magnetic pull between bodies and before you know it, your face is melded to his, your heart is pounding, blood is racing and you feel like you need to devour this human being? My first FWB was like that.
Our first meeting was rather innocuous as the setting was rather public with plenty of distractions. We went out and enjoyed the fresh air...and chatted a little bit. I just didn't get much of a chance to say more due to the nature of our meeting and because I had an engagement to get to afterwards. He did leave me with the words call me later if you want though. Little did I know my world was never to be the same again.
Prior engagement done, those words lingered in my head. You can call me later if you want...and I found I truly wanted to. There was something about him...that elusive bit of magic that can't be forced or made up..it's just there. I grabbed my phone..dialled the number..and got the question..."So would you like to go for coffee?" My instant answer was "Sure!" I knew I wanted to know this man better.
With a smile on my face and knowing that something great was going to happen, I drove to our newly chosen meeting place. He showed up looking just as sexy as earlier that day. Those icy blue eyes pierced mine and my heart fluttered. A smile crossed his face and mine mirrored that. He held the door open for me, allowed me to cross past him and catch a hint of his masculine scent. We made it inside, grabbed a drink and found a corner to sit down.
Simple conversation just flowed..there was none of that awkwardness or trying to force oneself to come up with something to say. Common ground was found at many turns and our discussion became more open and relaxed as the minutes passed. His broad shoulders leaned back as he watched me. I, for a change, didn't feel self conscious. Instead, I felt relaxed and quite contented to have someone to talk to who could relate to my life and stories and I his. At the very least, I just felt instinctively that this one would remain a part of my life as a great friend. Who knew where that could take us?
As the evening was coming to a close, we got up, made our way out the door and over towards the vehicles. I was unsure if I was just getting a handshake, a hug or more... As we stood beside my vehicle, I looked up at him, he looked down at me, and time stood still. A handshake just wouldn't cut it. And I knew he was really shy so I didn't see him making any kind of move without asking first. Without further thought, I went up on my toes and matched my lips with his. First soft...then wow....I needed more. Pressing upwards, the kiss intensified and had it not been for me holding onto my door, I would have probably just collapsed from the sheer energy of that moment. I know that people say fireworks are just what they say in stories but I swear, that felt like fireworks exploding around me. I didn't want to stop. Apparently neither did he because for a few more minutes we continued to explore each other's taste.
Unfortunately as all good stories go, they do eventually come to an end and so did our evening. I eased myself into my vehicle, the heat still lingering on my lips. He looked at me and we knew that if we stayed any longer, we weren't going to leave for a long while. Instead, he gave me a grin, said, "I'll talk to you tomorrow," and gently closed my door. I gave him a wave, turned the key in the ignition, and after watching him get into his car and drive away, sighed, and couldn't help thinking...wow!
I couldn't wait until I got to talk to him tomorrow!
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More on the word "NO"
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Posted:Nov 24, 2014 10:50 am
Last Updated:Nov 26, 2014 9:11 am
10192 Views
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I very recently posted my response to a married guy who I repeatedly turned down for the FWB position because he couldn't and wouldn't be honest with his wife about wanting to play on the side. When someone says no, what is so hard about accepting that and moving on?
For the cheating guy who wants to get laid..or the wife who isn't getting any from her husband or whatever...
I get that guys get frustrated with wives when they aren't getting enough sex. I get it because mine has complained of the same thing. My sex drive decided to take a holiday without authorization. That's life for some people.
I get that wives get frustrated with guys because it seems like sometimes all they care about is sex or they're a workaholic and are never home. Been there too.
I know people who have been in a sexless marriage for years.
Something changed somewhere....but where and when did that happen?
Time changes things. It's going to happen whether you like it or not. We are not the same people we were 1, 2 or 10 years ago. Circumstances change people. People change people. Relationships change. Jobs change. We don't look at others the same way as we did in the beginning. It's inevitable that we're going to have to adapt as we go. The question is how? And do we really want to put in the effort?
What I did: I didn't want to throw away a 14 year relationship that up until recent years had been pretty freakin fabulous. We both deserved a chance to make it work. And we both needed to be on the same page. I started opening up more. Talking to my husband. About all the little things that set me off, turned me off, drove me nuts and made me so frustrated I could scream. Then I started talking about all the things I could think of that turned me on. Example...guys..folding laundry for me in my world is sexy as hell. It means that I can focus on the million and one other things that I have to do and not worry about that. Helping with dishes. Another mmmmmm thanks babe! moment. Making supper more than once a week..omg!!! I love you! And when we're not so freakin exhausted at the end of the day, guess what?? We have energy to play! I'm not saying that this is everyone's circumstances, but here's a thought. If your spouse doesn't find you sexy then look for ideas to change that!
Now for those who think that cheating is the answer: It's totally your call. In my opinion though, if you can't be honest with yourself and them, how can you expect to have the respect of someone else when you've propagated a web of lies once? I thought at one time it was easier to just not tell my husband that I started getting feelings for someone else. The result: Him getting more and more upset and insecure. After 14 years together, he knew how to read my emotions like a book no matter how hard I tried to hide it. Drove me more crazy. I have a hard time dealing with insecurity. Maybe because I have enough of my own, I don't know. Anyway, as a result, and a lot of talking later, it came out and we dealt with it. The insecurity went away. He was happier, and I was happier. Go figure! I never would have guessed that as an end result. We are now at a point where we are a lot stronger as a couple. We're not perfect but who is! All I know is that it's worth it to talk it out so that both can work together on making it better.
Keep in mind, this is my opinion. You can like it or not, that's your right. If this helps you, great. If it doesn't, that's ok too. I just wanted to share.
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The word "NO"
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Posted:Nov 24, 2014 9:08 am
Last Updated:Sep 10, 2020 10:16 pm
10172 Views
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So yesterday I had someone decide to chat me up and see if I wanted to become his new FWB. Never mind that he didn't tell his wife that he had made the decision to find a FWB behind her back while she was away for work.
What makes a guy think it's ok to stab his wife in the back and disrespect her so bad by not being honest with her like that? Is a partner that you've chosen to love for life undeserving of that kind of respect and honesty? Are they so awful that one fears them that much?
Then comes the comment, " I have a strong set of morals." OMG REALLY??? I'm sorry but that's the biggest hypocritical statement I've come across recently. Oh and this person wants to find a FWB who can respect them and enjoy time with them in and out of the bedroom. I can't respect anyone nor trust them when they can't even trust their loved one enough to tell them what's going on.
So where the word "NO" comes in first...when I found out the wife doesn't know what's going on. Politely said It just won't happen. No biggie....then he kept talking. Not enough sex at home yadda yadda yadda...heard it a million times on here. Find a hobby! Better yet, talk to your wife and let her know your dilemma. Is it worth throwing out years of a relationship when you get caught and she throws your ass out and takes you for as much as she can? Believe me, I've seen it happen. Lots! Women are not stupid. I think some men think we are.
Second "NO" came when he continued to try and convince me to take a chance on him and become a FWB. Wife does't know so absolutely no!
Third one came after he became graphic on what he wanted to do to me. We all have fantasies..I get that. About someone you haven't met yet though throws me off some. Makes me think that if I have a hole he can fill, I'll do. Oh and the fact that I'm picky is a huge plus because he wants someone who is STD free. *grumble* REALLY?!?!
End of conversation was this: graphic details....more graphic details...and even my husband said that didn't dignify a response. Easy decision at that point. No reply. Log off.
I have never in my life wanted to smack someone upside the head with a frying pan as bad as with this one. Sometimes men are just complete idiots.
Oh and for those that know me, I do occasionally keep some opinions to myself, but this one I need to finally let out.
End of rant.
If you're a cheating husband and the person you want to cheat on her with says no, respect that no and quit badgering her.
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