There May Be Another Throwdown If You Don't Watch Your Mouth
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Posted:Aug 14, 2019 10:27 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 4:1 am
1221 Views
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I went to the Art Throwdown at the Mobile Art Council, where several artists were each given a box of random stuff and ordered to make some art of it. You might get a circular saw blade and a doorknob, or you might get a bag of Army Men, but they're all going into the mix. They also had a silent auction where many local artists had pieces for sale, including my sister Joanne, whose painting of a Spotted Ass sold for $0.
Yeah, yeah, my sister was peddling her Spotted Ass on Dauphin Street. There. I beat you to it.
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My Favorite Bits (Pardon the Expression) So Far from Netflix's "Strippers"
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Posted:Aug 14, 2019 9:54 am
Last Updated:Aug 14, 2019 6:00 pm
1622 Views
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The lady who manages all the dancers at Scotland's Diamond Dolls: "If anyone touches my girls!" But her Glaswegian accent is so thick it sounds like she's saying "If anyone touches my ghettos!"
The Eastern European dancer who started stripping her way across Europe because she couldn't make a good enough living as a nurse back home, while shopping for stripper outfits:
"I already have a nurse one."
...which reminds me of a dancer I knew back in Colorado who was wearing a cheerleader outfit. She confided in me: "This is my actual school cheerleading outfit. I can still fit into it." You can hardly imagine the mix of feelings this news inspired in me.
Leaves Netflix on August th, so don't dawdle. Act now! Act without thinking!
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And Your Random Pre-Code Movie of the Day Is...
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Posted:Aug 14, 2019 9:36 am
Last Updated:Aug 14, 2019 6:02 pm
1237 Views
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Virtue (32) offers us another chance to see the poor man's Bogart, Jack LaRue. He's paired with Maya Methot and everything!
Well, also, Carole Lombard, who's paired up with Pat O'Brien. As Ward Bond tells him at one point: "You're no Clark Gable."
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Throwback Wednesday! Or, How I Missed the Opening of the SLS
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Posted:Aug 14, 2019 9:11 am
Last Updated:Aug 14, 2019 9:12 am
1319 Views
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Well, I could have stayed back in Vegas for the opening of the SLS, or I could have been in Biloxi using my free tickets to see Smokey Robinson, which wasn't a bad consolation prize. The man came out in a red silk jacket, red leather pants, and red platform soles, greeted perhaps the most enthusiastic crowd I've ever seen, opened with "Being With You" and closed with a singalong of "Cruisin'"...in between we had a band, backup singers, two dancing girls, a medley of hits he wrote for the Temptations ("The Way You Do The Things You Do," "Get Ready," "My Girl"), a cover of "Fly Me to the Moon," Quiet Storm stuff, and more unbelievable songs any one of which would get anyone else into the Songwriting Hall of Fame. Hadn't actually known Stevie Wonder gave him the track for "Tears of a Clown," which freed Smokey to concentrate on coming up with its crazy-ass rhymes ("You see smile on my face, well it's just there to fool the public, but when it comes to loving you, darlin' 's quite another subject"); not bad for a song on the most clichéd themes in pop music, and a retread of "Tracks of My Tears" territory at . Other than not hearing his first Miracles hit "Shop Around," it was just about the perfect show.
Especially because I brought a date.
Bonus: I called the IP to see if I could get tickets to David Spade the following week, and I did. Among other bits, David talked about how at least women want to try anal sex with him, "just to get a vague idea of what it would be like with a life-sized penis." Opening act was Kevin Farley, who has to keep reminding people he's actually Chris Farley's brother so no, otherwise if it was Chris you'd be seeing a ghost right now.
Update: I see Lenny Kravitz put in a surprise appearance at the SLS opening and played a set. For a long time I've been remembering as Prince showed up to a surprise set, which obviously would have left me inconsolable if it were the case. But Smokey Robinson in exchange for Lenny Kravitz? Hells yes
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Backhanded
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Posted:Aug 14, 2019 8:29 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 4:1 am
987 Views
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"I'm thinking of applying for a job at Hooter's," she told me.
I gasped. "You can cook, too?"
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Fairy Tales Can Come True, It Can Happen to You
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Posted:Aug 13, 2019 7:09 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2019 2:56 am
1139 Views
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While driving back from Lowe's I was hailed by a sweet young lady (well, younger than me anyway) in urgent need of a ride her next assignation. The subject of ages came up and this gave me an opportunity my favorite game, "What's The Professor's Age?" As per the usual, she was off by a decade.
She gave me some tips maintaining my youthful appearance.
"My advice you," she said, "is masturbate heavily."
Well, obviously I'm going take that advice heart, but further encouragement she took my hand and placed it over hers.
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Profiles Encourage
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Posted:Aug 13, 2019 12:40 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 4:1 am
1008 Views
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She: "Actually, I have two Facebook profiles."
He: "Aw, just means there's more of you to love."
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Dear Adult Friends
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Posted:Aug 7, 2019 9:47 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 4:1 am
1218 Views
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It's a dangerous world out there. And even a dangerous world in here.
Be careful, for fuck's sake.
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Tick Tock
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Posted:Aug 6, 2019 5:34 pm
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2019 5:39 am
1207 Views
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"This isn't my first rodeo," I told her.
"Well, it's your first rodeo with me," she replied.
You're right; this is our first rodeo. We should just enjoy the ride.
Just remember at the rodeo, anything more than eight seconds is considered satisfactory.
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Status Update
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Posted:Aug 5, 2019 3:32 pm
Last Updated:Aug 14, 2019 8:12 am
1139 Views
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My exotic dancer friend said I didn't have wait hear from her before texting her, but since my last text her I've heard nothing from her for days.
I've about had it with Ms. Time Nazi (as in "No Time for You!").
I finally encountered again the delightful lady I met through a mutual acquaintance a of weeks ago, then dropped from sight and remained stubbornly unreachable despite my having tracked down her phone (suspended) and home (univisited recently) from 4. I was advised her place before :00 a.m. today but found she had taken off driving someone else's car "for half an hour" which stretched into several hours. The car eventually returned without her in it. When she finally did me, I told her "I want you with all my heart, but my head tells me every day will be just like today."
My Imaginary Girlfriend was unfazed my disclosing my great qualms about her and we remain in touch. If she turns be 's the easy solution; all I have worry about is finding a date for these concert tickets I bought. If a real woman steps off the plane next week, it's a logistical nightmare.
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